„Wat…!?“

Er zijn weinig dingen zoals frustrerend zoals instortend in uw bed in uw nieuwe flat, been dat van de hele dag het bewegen van zware dozen wordt vermoeid en klaar aan slaap moeilijk, slechts om wakker door uw nieuwe buren' worden geschokt muziek of videospelletjes. In het bijzonder wanneer het geen verschillend de volgende nacht, of volgende, of volgende… is

Zelfs kan de meest godsvruchtige Christen het en omhoog beëindigen gillend in righteous woede - hoewel nutteloos - bij de beledigende buren, of enkel uw gedeelde muur of vloer verliezen. Wij voelen machteloos en boos over het worden zulk een hateful persoon. In feite, wanneer wij niet krijgen om onze buren als medemensen te kennen, als wij hen nooit zien, kunnen zij morph in disembodied kwade geesten in onze hoofden, waarvan elke lawaai en de beweging met malice wordt geregen.

Eerlijk gezegd, zijn er niet veel u kunt doen lawaaierige buren berekenen en vermijden wanneer u een flat voorbij het proberen om bij nacht zoekt te bezoeken en zorgvuldig het luisteren om te zien of zijn de muren soundproofed. Het vragen van de eigenaar over problemen qua geluidshinder zal meer dan waarschijnlijk in a minder dan recht antwoord resulteren. Nochtans, kunt u een doen zodra u zich binnen beweegt om meer bij vrede in uw flat te voelen, al tijdje brengend uw geloof in praktijk:

1. Krijg om uw buren te kennen. U moet geen M. zijn. Rogers of het nieuwste lid van Wanhopige Huisvrouwen krijgen om uw buren te kennen. Enkel gaat het zijn op een „glimlach en teken“ basis met uw buren een lange manier. U zullen zowel waarschijnlijk uit voor elkaar op kleine als grote manieren (opnemend verdwaalde post, die binnen potentiële gaslekken, enz. roepen) kijken. If you are used to smiling at your neighbor and maybe even saying “hi,” it’s then much easier to progress to asking about a building issue (“Is it true they’re going to be renovating the basement next week?”) and much easier to have a calm, rational conversation about noise or other problems— even at 4 am, when he’s drunk or high. And you might find that your neighbor’s laugh no longer seems maniacal so much as vivacious, and that you’re happy for her because you know she needs the joy in her life.

You shouldn’t expect to become best friends with your neighbors. People in apartment buildings usually don’t want to live next to their best friends, but they do like to be on good terms with their neighbors. Sort of like an office environment, but hopefully less stressful and without the awful lighting!

Tips: Bolder people often knock on their neighbors’ doors on the day they move in. If you want to try this, make up an excuse for knocking beyond introducing yourself, like asking them to please let you know if you’re being too loud while you move in. If you’re a shy person or just conscientious about not invading other people’s space, then slip a card under your neighbors’ doors inviting them to your housewarming party. Even if they don’t attend, they’ll probably be flattered to have been invited, and be much more willing to deal with you in a respectful manner.

2. Start a building e-mail list. One of the best ways to create a good overall environment in your building is to start an e-mail list. An e-mail list can be a good way for neighbors, especially younger ones, to trouble-shoot common problems or plan building events, or just share tips (e.g., washing machine is eating quarters).

Tips: Set up a list on Google or Yahoo (or your preferred service) and put cards underneath your neighbors’ doors asking them to join. Be sure to explain what it is, why they might want to use it, and what won’t be allowed (for example, you may want to avoid using it to share grievances about the landlord, since it’s likely she’ll see a copy and try to shut it down if you distribute it around the building). Once it’s set up and you have some users, start using it right away so that the idea will stick.

Now that you have an e-mail list, it’ll be much easier to:

• Throw a building potluck.
• Organize a trick-or-treat set up in front of the building on Halloween.
• Plan, plant and maintain a common tree, flowers or garden.

You don’t need a building e-mail list to do any of these things, but it certainly helps. If you don’t have an e-mail list, use cards and flyers around the building or try the old knock-on-the-door technique to get your neighbors involved. Building events or tools that promote civil interaction and helps create a universal expectation that people will treat each other well, even when we’re behind our apartment walls. The change in the ethos of the apartment building will impact even those who choose to not participate directly.

Please note that you don’t have to be new to your building in order to do any of the suggestions above. It’s never too late to start getting to know your neighbors!

Finally, check out our guide to Neighborly Home Design at neighborsproject.org, which includes more ideas and tips ranging from simple to advanced projects towards making your building more neighborly.

Author Bio:: Kit Hodge is the CEO of Neighbors Project, a 501c3 non-profit that inspires and trains members of the new urban generation to connect with their neighbors through projects that improve the neighborhood for everyone. She has also successfully coaxed her downstairs neighbor to turn down his music at 4 am when he was dead drunk.

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