Logan Laituri: Courageous Coward

Today we kick off the new interviews section of Jesus Manifesto by interviewing Logan Laituri.

JM: Hello Logan, tell us a little bit about who you are.

Well, I can’t imagine answering that question without briefly addressing who I was. I grew up in Orange County, CA, which to me seemed to be the materialism capital of the world. Being lower middle class, I felt very disadvantaged. My folks did an awesome job providing for us, though, and I fell into the youth group routine after I was arrested for shoplifting at 14. My parents had split up and I apparently felt that was a great way to get some attention. For four years in high school, I almost literally wore my religion on my sleeve; I put it on while I was at church and took it off as soon as I was home. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my church (and still do, I return every time I’m home), but I saw a lot of superficial faith, and I really thought that was all there was to being a Christian. My faith was just a series of things I was not supposed to do (drink, smoke, have sex, etc.). Christianity was a simplistic, restrictive lifestyle that I followed very intermittently. I took that perspective with me when I signed up for the Army a few months before I graduated.

Looking back on my past, I am very grateful for the things I learned, the easy and the really difficult lessons alike. I completed my Military Service Obligation (MSO) a few weeks ago, and I am hoping to start college next fall. In the meantime, I am working for peace in every way I can find. Currently, I am employed as a developer for a very small but ambitious nonprofit. Additionally, I am very active in an organization called Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW), because as a Christian, I feel it is imperative that I reject war in all forms, and I also happen to be an Iraq War veteran. I might be a unique member in that I came to these beliefs not as some political reaction to the war, but as a direct response to the call of Christ to be nonviolent; to love, not destroy, our enemies. I always hesitate to call myself a pacifist, however, because the root of the word implies that such a person is passive. Nonviolence, and similarly Christianity, is quite a vigorous endeavor, far from being docile or merely a reaction to the culture around us. One should take close notice that in the Beatitudes, the folks who most directly reflect God’s character (who are called ‘children of the Most High’) are called to make peace (not keep, or enjoy or just promote it); to deliberately and actively create peace where there is none. I hope that I am known as a peacemaker, as a blessed son of God.

Yours is an interesting story. There are (thankfully) many peacemakers in our world, but you’re the first peacemaker I’ve talked to who came to their nonviolent convictions while enlisted. What led you to the conviction that you cannot love your enemy while trying to kill them?

The first time I considered that I might have the wrong take on the Bible was many months after I had returned from my combat tour in Iraq. I had met a family that really lived out the word of God everyday. They knew the Bible was not just a Basic Instruction Manual Before Leaving Earth (B.I.B.L.E.), it was a romance novel describing the dynamic relationship between the Creator and His creation. When I sought advice about various issues, the father of the family almost had a script it seemed. Every question I brought before him was answered by a simple “It’s about love Logan.” A four letter word contained the solution to every problem I could imagine. It seems a bit too simple minded, but in a world that is as individualized and materialized as ours, you realize that it really is very complicated to apply that ideology. Christ even said that we would be persecuted and cursed because of it!

When I began to accept the truth in what he had taught me, I knew I had to objectively consider whether I could fulfill that great commission while employed in very indiscriminate forms of violence as a forward observer in the US Army. When I returned to him to ask his thoughts on justice and war, the story changed. He expressed his belief that we were serving divine justice in the Middle East through our violence against Muslims. I had had discussions with other Christians within the military and heard similar thoughts, but none of them jived with the repeated exhortations by our King to love our enemy. Regardless of where I went with nonviolence, my mentor reminded me, he would respect and support me, as it was a decision he had never been asked to make, and he could sympathize with the immense pressure I faced in concretely answering no to violence and yes to grace. As much as I could explain the roots of the Christian practice of vicarious suffering (wherein we adopt our neighbors’ sufferings as our own, never forcing that yoke upon their shoulders), it will forever be a bit of a mystery, a sacrament of the Church, that must not be displaced from it’s centrality in Christian discipleship.

How did your commanding officers react to your change of conscience?

Not very well. I actually did not ask to be discharged from the Army at all. I hoped to return to Iraq unarmed, carrying on a heritage of many conscientious objectors (COs) who served their country nonviolently (Desmond Doss in WWII and Thomas Bennett in Vietnam were both unarmed medics called by faith to nonviolence and were awarded our nation’s highest honor, the Congressional Medal of Honor). At first, they were very cooperative; we discussed ways I could still patrol the streets of Iraq without a weapon, whether I would wear body armor, and what reaction we could expect from Iraqis as a non-chaplain American soldier without a weapon. After I turned in my formal request and went to my required interviews, their mood changed and it became unclear whether they would support sending a soldier to battle without their trusty M-4 carbine. The interviewing chaplain was very supportive, as was the psychiatrist I saw. However, the shrink recognized a disconnect between my religious convictions (to love people) and my professional obligation (to blow stuff up and kill people). He diagnosed me with a type of Adjustment Disorder and recommended that I not be deployed.

When I turned in the psychiatrist’s diagnosis, I was accused of lying to him as a part of a “grand scheme to get out of the Army.” With only a few weeks to finish the proceedings, I began to fear that I would be ‘tested;’ perhaps ordered to draw a weapon and go to Iraq. I knew I would be ready to deploy (my bags were even packed and I had all my shots), but I also knew I would never touch a rifle again in my life. Trying to be only as wise as a serpent, I sought legal assistance from Army and civilian sources. I met with a pair of lawyers who called my unit to ask for a copy of my request for review. The very next day I was called into my commander’s office and told I had “gotten what [I] wanted.” What I actually got was berated as “aiding the enemies of America,” and not deserving of my rank as a noncommissioned officer. I was told I was being reassigned because of the psychiatrist’s diagnosis and immediately given a negative evaluation and ordered to never return to the unit area. One of the most difficult days of my life was in August of 2006, when I watched my entire unit get on the buses to go to fly to Kuwait, knowing I could not share the field of battle with them, including one soldier who had submitted his own CO request and later withdrawn it due to the harassment he received as a result.

Is it your sense that there are a lot of folks in the military who would embrace a CO stance if they were truly free to do so? What sorts of harassments are conscientious objectors facing in the armed forces?

I don’t honestly know if folks would ‘embrace’ the stance of objection. When I was in, there was a tremendously negative stigma for COs. Objection is viewed on the same level almost as treason or desertion, in fact, I was told by a few chaplains that I was turning my back on the military and could expect to lose my veterans benefits (which is inaccurate). The bad light shed on COs is due mostly to misunderstanding the nature of conscientious objection. Folks in the military have already forgotten that it was common practice to allow unarmed combatants onto the field of battle, and many such GIs fought heroically as medics or other occupational specialties. Two COs (Desmond Doss in WWII and Thomas Bennett in Vietnam) have been awarded the prestigious Congressional Medal of Honor. In our current combat environment, however, every individual is taught to be “an infantryman first,” and the significant potential for noncombatant COs has been entirely and tragically forgotten.

When I was still deliberating with my supervisors about the possibility of me returning to Iraq unarmed, there was a slight tension surrounding the idea of how I would be able to defend them if I did not carry a weapon. I reminded them as gently as I could that a rifle is not a defensive weapon, and that if necessary, I would not hesitate to place myself between them and their attackers. It seems to me that it takes quite an impressive amount of willpower in order to be “pacify” a violent situation, which is why I veer away from calling myself a pacifist. In my eyes, the greatest travesty in our time of war is someone who passively sits on a couch at home and, when disturbing news threatens their peace of mind, change the channel. As John testifies so eloquently to Revelation; hot or cold, but never lukewarm! At least I know my harshest critics still allow their hearts to be moved by the horrors in Iraq, but I and other combat veterans nationwide stand aghast at the rampant apathy in America toward the wars in the Middle East. To watch it be ignored or glossed over almost invalidates ones entire experience there, and that can be just as traumatizing as the deployment itself.

You recently started an organization called “Centurion’s Purse.” What is Centurion’s Purse?

Centurion’s Purse is a faith based veterans focus group. We address the issue of militarization and how to help folks wrapped up in the financial and spiritual throes of the Armed Forces. With the Purse, we are sitting on $10,000 we want to redistribute to folks in need who are recovering from their own potential fallout from the military (our friend Shane would insert the word “empire” here). One of our own founding members was a cadet in ROTC who had a similar change of conscience and faced the possibility of having to repay the tuition the Air Force had covered. We are looking for similar circumstances; maybe a combat vet returns and has trouble finding a job and needs professional resume training or job creation, maybe a Delayed Entry Program (DEP) participant has second thoughts and needs an alternative means of paying for college, or maybe a family member of a deployed service member has poor accounting skills and needs emergency financial assistance. These are all examples of folks that we want to know about Centurion’s Purse.

Furthermore, we all struggle with how to practically “support the troops” if we do not at the same time support the war (or war at all). Centurion’s Purse provides that space for people who wish to create effective means of support for struggling GI’s and not in some way endorse what Eisenhower called the “Military Industrial Complex.” We have had discussions with tax resisters who are interested in donating 41% (the same amount allocated to military spending in the current federal budget) of their taxes to Centurion’s Purse to prophetically address what they see as destructive and irresponsible spending reflected in our national budget. Hopefully we can reach fellow service members who face their own crisis of faith and duty, who seek peace but may be forced to settle for anything less. Many of us in the steering committee of Centurion’s Purse knows what that feels like and how important it is to have a support structure in place in the event of circumstances like ours, where member of our own units were very opposed to my decision to request noncombatant status. However, I should be clear that intent to separate from the military is NOT a prerequisite to apply for a gift. We are certainly able to support those who do feel obliged to remove themselves, but we in now way wish to be considered to be an organization that is opposed to military service. Personally as well, I am very sympathetic to those who feel very dedicated to civil service, and I myself did not seek separation.

Where did the idea for Centurion’s Purse come from? What are your hopes and dreams for the organization?

Shane Claiborne invited me to facilitate a screening of the movie “The Ground Truth” at the Potter Street Community in Philadelphia. Afterwards, while we were discussing the ramifications of the movie, someone posed a very simple question to which I did not have an answer. A young man asked me “How do we help soldiers coming back from the wars?” I shrugged and told him I was determined to find an answer to that question. After we wrapped up, Shane and I were talking together, and we came up with a very rough idea of creating “alternative scholarships” to counter the enormous financial incentives offered by the military to enlist. It is a tragic irony that the neighborhoods with the lowest rate of income also have the highest rates of recruitment, creating what has been called ‘economic conscription,’ wherein the poorest among us are fighting and dying for our freedom. It wasn’t long before we realized that the economic draft is not the only reverberation of financial disparity that the industrial military leaves in our society. From a vets perspective as well, the Veterans Administration (VA) is verifiably underfunded and overwhelmed, and it’s an absolute travesty that we cannot as a nation serve the needs of the men and women who have served us.

We hope that what we have birthed will be replicated by other congregations and community organizations who wish to see a reduction in the militarization in their local areas. As Christians, we felt it was (and is) our duty to create small pockets of resistance, parallel (and often contrasting) structures that fill in where empire fails, when the least of us fall through the cracks and have little hope for relief or support from the overly bureaucratic nature of the system currently in place. We believe that in a perfect world no child will be left behind by the college curve to be swept up by recruiters forced to meet a quota, no service member will be left to fend for themselves after a change of conscience, and no veteran finds themselves on the street as a result of poor transition out of the service. We hope Centurion’s Purse may be an initial reflection of that world, of the Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.

How can our readers help with Centurion’s Purse?

We have a few different options for folks who want to plug in and who are not considering applying as recipients. We offer communities and individuals the opportunity to be connected directly with a Centurion Applicant through our Adopt-A-Centurion Program. Through this, we hope to reinforce the relational support service members receive and multiply the Purse’s transformative effect. If this is something that interests you, you can go to our Adopt page and fill in some brief info and we will keep track of folks who want to ‘adopt.’ When we are contacted by an applicant who would benefit from being connected with that group or individual, and that applicant has indicated their openess to this program, we will put the parties in contact. As a ‘foster’ group, you are expected to maintain a certain level of interaction with the applicant, but that can be sorted out before anything gets fleshed out. An example of a good applicant/adoption situation might be a Navy recruit applies and we have a group of Navy vets who meet for coffee on weekends that is waiting in the wings to help out. Foster groups are not required to meet the financial needs of the applicant (but are welcome to contribute), but should focus primarily on the personal and emotional needs of their applicant.

Another option is to donate resources in support of our work. Centurion’s Purse receives it’s tax exempt status through the generous sponsorship of The Simple Way, and any material or financial support is fully tax deductible. We are in need of everything from office supplies and computer software to monetary contributions. We are largely volunteer based (we provide a small monthly stipend for our organizer) and exist entirely upon the support of others. We have two different funds you are able to donate to if you wish to contribute; the Admin fund and the Gift fund. Our Gift fund is 100% dedicated to meeting the needs of applicants, while our Admin fund goes to meet costs like incorporation and IRS filings, web hosting fees, etc. We have $10k dedicated this year to our Gift fund, which is outstanding, but we are currently in need of administrative support and are asking donors to consider earmarking their donations “Admin.” Right now, we can accept donations to our Philadelphia office by mail, but soon we will have PayPal functionality and we are also researching other creative ways for folks to be a part of this movement of the Spirit.

Any advice on how folks can support their local service members with the love of Christ, while resisting militarization at the same time?

First, we can resist without insisting on local service members see things our way; we can love them without condition, as Christ loved us. When I was going through my CO process, I felt very ostracized by both the right and the left, or the secular and the religious. One side told me that I must remain in the military and blindly obey, the other insisted I vomit myself out of a dirty system that is tied up in the destruction of mankind (I am exaggerating only slightly). When that occurred, I wanted very little to do with anything remotely to do with any kind of political or social persuasion. We need to recognize that the military is just an institution, it is the people that shape an individuals perspective. There are many service members (I call them GIs for short) who feel very invested in the military, and for good cause; it has fed them, clothed them, provided shelter for them and their families. When that is attacked, a GI can get righteously defensive. When I get into conversations with very devoted military members, often the first thing out of my mouth is a reminder that I know how important and supportive the military is in one’s life, and recognize that that persons experience may have been significantly better than mine. The next thing I do is I make it clear in some way that I am not there to convert them or subvert their view of the military, but I am always honest when asked about my own relatively negative experience and the work I currently am involved in and why.

If we are talking about a returning combat vet, when folks ask me how to “reach out” to people serving in the military, my answer is usually to let them reach out to you. Usually it is family members or loved ones who ask, so the relationship already exists, and there is often a sense of mutual respect and commitment, and in authentic relationships is where we must sort out our own salvation with fear and trembling. My friend Shane has said before, “there are no lone Christians.” In the Army I had a lot of short term relationships, and that can be dangerous because one never truly opens up if one knows the relationship will be short lived. To counteract that, if you have a particular person in mind, just spend time with them and let them come to you on their terms about their feelings and experiences. It is only after that trust exists that they will even consider exposing that part of themselves to anyone, and sometimes it can take a long time. Educate yourself as well, there are a lot of great movies and books that may prove difficult to digest, but will give you insight into what they are going through. You can find a short list of movies etc. on The Simple Way’s website for now (the best reflection from a veterans perspective is probably “The Ground Truth”), but hopefully by the end of the year, Centurion’s Purse will also have resources you can explore in order to better understand what GIs go through. If you have a family member or loved one that you are concerned about and would like to explore ways to interact with them, please contact us and we would be eager to offer whatever insight we may have. We have many veterans on our board, including one combat vet and two currently drilling reservists who would be very happy to help.

for further reading . . .

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