Breaking News: Rapture May Have Already Happened
Written by Mark Van Steenwyk : January 27, 2008
Millions of faithful Christians eagerly await the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. In a recent Gallup study, 73% of Americans believe in the “physical return of Jesus Christ” during the last days. 53% of Americans believe that Jesus is coming back within their lifetimes.
Many Evangelicals believe that, before Jesus’ return, there will be seven years of great suffering. This period—which some call the “Tribulation”—will conclude with the return of Jesus Christ. According to popular belief, true Christians will be spared from this time of Tribulation by a mass miracle called “the Rapture.”
According to popular author and Biblical scholar Tim LaHaye, “the rapture is when God miraculously takes all ‘true’ Christians out of the world before the time of Great Tribulation. True Christians will be taken directly into heaven where they will await the final judgment.”
Belief in a rapture for true believers has grown in recent years, thanks in large part to the Left Behind Series—a series of novels based upon the book of Revelation. These books, co-authored by LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, have sold over 70 million copies and spawned children’s books, a video game, and a film franchise. The rapture is big business. Unfortunately, it may have already happened.
Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins are missing. Worried family members haven’t seen LaHaye or Jenkins since January 20th, 2008. Sources closest to the families confirm that LaHaye disappeared in the middle of the night, leaving behind only his pajamas. Jenkins disappeared while walking his dog, leaving behind a jogging outfit, shoes, and a hat.
Police are engaged in a full search of the two men. If anyone knows of the whereabouts of LaHaye or Jenkins, please call your local authorities.
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hahahaha…this is awesome. i guess i missed the boat.
You are a funny man, sir.
Why did i not listen to these men!! Why!!!
Thank you Michael and BUSH.
Joshua. In the immortal words of Larry Norman:
There’s no time
to change your mind
the Son has come and you’ve
been left behind.
too funny man..great post
The video game is just too ridiculous to be taken seriously by anyone. Any of my friends on this blog every played it? I hear you run around with all types of heavenly weaponry and blast the life out of everyone that has been left behind that won’t stand firm with you. SO full of grace
When Condoleeza came to Colombia last week, I saw one of her bodyguards with a mustache like LaHaye’s one. But being near to Condoleeza is more similar to hell than heaven…
too good. you took my larry norman song though. but all i was going to say was, “i wish we’d all been ready…”
I think it’s time to introduce you all to one of my favorite things on the web: Hyperlink to Left Behind Fridays, over at Slacktivist. Fred’s almost through Book 1, but his deconstruction of the writing and theology is what made me want to read the books, and I didn’t think anything would motivate me there!
Ack, slash the “hyperlink to.” I’m still learning my way around the interwebs…
I still remember the creepy feeling driving around Kuwait New Year’s Day 2000, after an eclipse in december, and it was dead. I mean, cars abandoned on the side of the road, in the middle of the road, and we drove for twenty minutes without seeing a soul.
Ryan asked “I wonder if the Muslims were right and they all got raptured”. I wonder who’s masquerading as them now, in that case.
What? Jenkin’s dog was left behind? Bad dog.