Shame on Me
Written by Mark Van Steenwyk : March 1, 2006
Shame is both an emotion (I feel shame for this thing that I’ve done, or for who I am). It is also something that I can "put" on someone else (I shamed John for getting drunk at the party last night).
Monday night, I saw shame in someone’s eyes. And I, inadvertently, was the one who "put" it there. Monday nights, my wife and I tutor immigrants in English from 6-9. My first time tutoring, I met an Oromo man named Mohammed. Mohammed’s english wasn’t very good, and he was mentally ill. He was having trouble getting a job, so I offered to take special time away from the rest of the class to help him fill out an application properly. The next week, Mohammed was gone. Mohammed stopped coming to class, but I wasn’t sure why. Sunday night, I ran into Mohammed at the Hard Times Cafe, a place where folks from Missio Dei like to hang out. I talked to him a bit and urged him to come back to class. Monday night, he came to class. It was then that I noticed that the class teachers were visably upset. I learned from them that Mohammed had been banned from the program because he had become irrational and violent. I had to go to Mohommed and tell him that he wasn’t allowed into class…that I had made a mistake and that I couldn’t help him after all. Mohammed didn’t make a fuss. His eyes turned down with a look of sadness, and he walked out the door. He looked ashamed.
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I assume this tutoring group is a Christian ministry, and wonder why Christians expect those outside the faith to magically conform to the standards we hold people to. I think you and this tutoring group need to reread passages like Matt. 17:14-21 and Mark 5:1-17. What would have happened had Jesus refused to help those two individuals who were ‘mentally ill’ or violent?
Maybe you should help this man personally, apart from this tutoring group. Maybe then you can help rebuild what was torn down by your uniformed mistake.
Sorry, I should have given more details:
1) This is not a Christian tutoring group, but a non-profit, government funded service center.
2) Mohammed has my number…and I’ll work with him if he is willing.
Part of the reason I posted this is that organizations (including many churches) choose to focus on the many to exclusion to the few.
I know how I am to follow through with this: I will seek Mohammed and try to help him. But the larger question is: how do we, the Church structure ourselves, and how do nonprofits structure themselves, so that people like Mohammed don’t fall through the cracks?
would you like some more shame?
Yes please!
Is this the Muhammed I know from the 2nd Moon?
I’d like to talk to him again sometime, but I’m not going to the 2nd moon as much anymore for various reasons.
Sadness, yes. Shame, why? What is the reason, the basis, the source for your feeling shame? With God being sovereign, and there no longer being condemnation for those in Christ, why have you taken shame upon yourself?
Tom
Doctrine Matters
Tom, I never said I’m ashamed of myself.