Kevin Smith Making Film About the Trinity凯文史密斯，使电影三位一体

Kevin Smith凯文史密斯 –the irreverent director who brought us such films as -i rreverent导演为我们带来了这样的电影 Clerks 办事员 and和 Dogma 教条 –is once again causing a stir among the faithful. -是再次造成轰动之间的忠诚。 Last month, Smith began filming Trinity , a film based upon the Christian understanding of God.上个月，史密斯开始拍摄三一 ，电影根据基督教的认识上帝。 According to insider sources, the film, which is presumably going for the same vibe as Dogma , depicts “one day in the life of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost.”据内幕消息人士透露，电影，这是假定去为同一再接再厉，当教条 ，描绘了“一天在学校的生活上帝的父亲，上帝的儿子，和上帝圣灵” 。

In a recent在最近一次 interview访谈 with Variety , Smith explained the concept for the film this way:同品种 ，史密斯解释的概念，为电影这样说：

Look.看。 I’m not trying to piss off devout Christians.我不是要小便小康虔诚的基督徒。 Instead, the film is really exploring the question: “What does God think of what we’ve done with the world?” I chose to depict God as a Trinity because the idea has always fascinated me…and because it allows for some hilarious conversations.相反，电影，实在是探索的问题： “什么是上帝想什么我们已经做了与世界？ ”我选择了描绘上帝作为一个三位一体的想法，因为一直着迷我… …和，因为它使一些搞笑的谈话。 You can’t exactly build great dialog with a God who only talks to himself.你不能完全建立伟大的对话与神只会谈自己。 This way, we can see God talking amongst themselves, so to speak…and see different facets of God in these different characters.这样，我们可以看到上帝谈他们当中，可以这么说… …并见的不同层面的上帝在这些不同的特点。

When asked whether or not his film is likely to cause controversy, Smith replied:当被问到是否或不是他的电影是有可能引起争议，史密斯回答：

Of course it will.当然，这会。 I mean, I have no real need to make God come off looking good in this picture.我的意思是，我已没有真正的需要作出的上帝来小康展望良好，在此图片。 I’m depicting the Trinity in a way that is very human and humorous.我描绘在一个三位一体的方式，这是非常的人力和幽默。 If I maintained their sanctity, the movie would suck.如果我保持其神圣性，该影片将抽走。 But in the end, the movie isn’t about making fun of God…but making fun of us…human beings.但在年底，这部电影是不是关于决策的乐趣… …但上帝使我们的乐趣…人类。

The film will star电影将星 Michael Caine迈克尔坚 as God the Father,作为神的父亲， Christian Bale基督教巴莱 as Jesus Christ, and作为耶稣基督，和 that blond guy这金发家伙 from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure as the Holy Ghost.从条例草案和TED的优良冒险作为圣灵。 Both Caine and Bale will add acting gravitas to this off-beat comedy.既坚和巴莱将新增代理gravitas这个小康拍喜剧。 Unfortunately, their market values broke the budget, leaving a shoe-string budget for the rest of the film…including casting for the Holy Ghost.不幸的是，他们的市场价值，打破了预算，留下了制鞋字符串预算，其余的电影… …包括铸造圣灵。

When asked about this decision, Smith replied:当被问及这项决定时，史密斯回答：

The film won’t really rely upon special effects…it isn’t as though we’re going to have Michael [Caine] shooting lightening from his fingers.电影不会真正依靠特别效果… …这是不作为，虽然我们要去有迈克尔[坚]射击减轻从他的手指。 The movie is classier than that…Regarding my casting for the Holy Ghost.这部电影是classier比…关于我的铸造圣灵。 Well, to be honest, he doesn’t really do much.好，说老实话，他并不真的很多。 He is really more of a foil and a prop for the other two, so I didn’t want to bring in a Hollywood heavyweight for that role.他实在是更多的铝箔和PROP的其他两个，所以我不希望把在好莱坞的重量级人物，为发挥这种作用。

Already, before any of the actual content of the film has been made public, religious groups are protesting the film.已经之前，任何实际内容的电影已经取得了市民，宗教群体抗议电影。 The most vocal critics have been James Dobson of最敢言的批评者已詹姆斯多布森的 Focus on the Family着眼于家庭 and Bill Donahue of和多纳休的条例草案 the Catholic League天主教联盟 . 。 Donahue calls the film “blasphemy with heresy mixed in.” Dobson believes that the film is “an affront to all decent people of faith everywhere.”多纳休呼吁电影“亵渎与异端混合英寸”多布森认为，电影是“一种侮辱，所有的体面人的信仰，到处” 。

Trinity is scheduled for wide release around Christmas 2009. 三一是定于广泛的释放在圣诞节前后，到2009年。

Editor’s Note: This isn’ta real film. 编者按：这不是真正的电影。 That is why this article is in the “satire” section. 这就是为什么此文章是在“讽刺”一节。 For the record, “that blond dude from Bill and Ted is named 为记录在案， “金发dude从条例草案和TED命名 Alex Winter 徐家冬季 . 。 I’m sure he’sa fine actor. 我敢肯定，他是罚款的演员。

This is the second in a series of satirical posts leading up to the day of Pentecost. 这是第二次在一系列的讽刺职位的领导到五旬节。 In honor of that esteemed day, consider submitting to the 在荣誉说，尊敬的一天，考虑提交给 Pentecost Writing Competition 圣灵降临节征文比赛 ! ！ And don’t forget. 不要忘了。 We need regular submissions to keep the content flowing as well ( 我们需要经常保持意见书的内容，流向，以及（ submit here 提交在这里 ). ） 。

Quantum Physicists collapse infinite superposition of all infinity into old bearded guy量子物理学家崩溃无限叠加的所有至无限远到老胡子的家伙

At CERN this week, in preparation for the final construction stages for the LHC (Large Hadron Collider), a smaller-scale test run has just completed.在CERN的这个星期，在准备的最后施工阶段，为lhc （大强子对撞机） ，规模较小的试运行刚刚完成。 The test, meant as the first of a series of tests ramping up to the full scale launch of the LHC, works with quantum particles in a growing attempt to unify some of the more complex and seemingly contradictory models of physics, primarily that of general relativity as proposed by Albert Einstein.测试，这意味着作为第一了一系列的测试，加紧向全面推出的lhc ，工程与量子粒子在越来越多的企图统一一些比较复杂的和看似矛盾的物理模型，主要广义相对论所提出的爱因斯坦。 Modern scientists such as the famous Stephen Hawking have spent years trying to develop a ‘grand theory of everything’ that can handle the complexities of the competing models.现代科学家，如著名的斯蒂芬霍金用了数年时间试图制定一个'宏伟的理论，一切' ，能够处理复杂的竞争模式。

The first sign the test was going wrong was when the equipment monitoring the experiment broke.第一个迹象测试去错误的是，当设备监测实验爆发。 The self destruction of the monitoring devices first manifested as computer errors, followed by system shutdowns and small explosions.该自我毁灭的监控装置首先表现为电脑错误，其次是系统停机和小型爆炸。 Dr. Hans Skretting, a leader in quantum physics, attempted to move to a backup observation system and in the process, accidentally observed the experiment directly.汉斯博士斯克雷廷，一个领导人在量子物理学，企图移动到备份观测系统，并在这个过程中，意外地观察到实验直接。

“It was like looking at infinity shrink, infinitely fast. “这是喜欢观看，无限萎缩，无限快的。 The first thought that came to my mind was that ‘This must be what God is’.第一以为来到我的心目中是， '这必须是什么，神是' 。 As soon as that thought entered my mind the collapse accelerated until the only thing left was a body, laying on the control room floor with wisps of smoke rising about him.”尽快进行思考，进入我心目中的崩溃，加速了，直到唯一剩下的是一个机构，奠定了关于控制室内的地板上wisps烟雾上升，约他“ 。

According to witnesses, the body raised itself and stood; the man was wearing brilliant white robes and sandals, and while bald, had a beard of the whitest hair that reached almost to his waist.据目击者称，该机构提出的本身，站在;该名男子被发现时身穿明亮的白色长袍和凉鞋，虽然秃头，有一个大胡子的whitest的头发几乎达到他的腰间。 His first words where “What happened?”他的第一句话是“什么事？ ”

Word is that the mysterious stranger has since been detained for tests, while an EU science committee has launched an investigation into the experiment’s methodology.字是神秘的陌生人以来被拘留的测试，而欧盟科学委员会已展开调查，实验的方法。 CERN is maintaining an almost stoic silence, but protesters around the world are compensating with their vocal outrage. CERN的是维持一个几乎stoic沉默，但示威者在世界各地的补偿与他们的声乐愤慨。

“If it’s not God or Jesus, it’s probably an angel, or an alien or something” an unnamed protester shouted during a newscast “and to think that we can detain and experiment on him is the height of arrogance” “如果不是上帝或耶稣，这可能是一个天使，或外国人或一些”未命名的示威者高呼期间新闻报道“ ，并认为我们可以扣留和实验研究，他是高度的嚣张气焰” 。

Scientific response has been somewhat muted as researchers mull over the new issues, but a few have released statements, including the the controversial words from the physics group at MIT:科学的回应一直有点静音作为研究思考的新问题，但有几个已经发布了报表，包括引起争议的话，从物理组在麻省理工学院：

“If what Dr. Skretting saw was indeed a superposition of all existence, a sort of omni-God, then the direct observation of God likely caused the superposition to collapse completely into, what we can only assume is, Dr. Skretting’s own mental understanding of who God is.” “如果有什么博士斯克雷廷看到的确是一个叠加，所有的存在，是一种全方位的上帝，那么，直接观察上帝可能造成的叠加崩溃，完全融入，我们只能假定是，博士斯克雷廷自己的精神的认识，谁是上帝“ 。

Professor of theology at Oxford and former student of astronomy Dr. James Helmsin speculates:神学教授在牛津大学和前学生的天文学博士詹姆斯helmsin推测：

“Did we just kill God? “当时我们刚刚杀死上帝吗？ Or create him?”或建立他“ ？

An official response from CERN is expecting this following Tuesday.正式回应由CERN的预期，这是继周二。

Author Bio: : Jordan Peacock lives and works in Minnesota with his beautiful wife and daughter. 作者生物： ：约旦孔雀的生命和工程在明尼苏达州，与他美丽的妻子和女儿。 When not playing with technology or music, he’s writing comic books and wrapping up a university education.当不公平与技术或音乐，他创作的漫画书和包装了大学教育。

Holy Spirit Found in Area Man’s Basement圣灵发现，在男子方面的地下室

Police discovered the Holy Spirit trapped inside an area man’s home on Tuesday morning.警方发现圣灵被困车厢内，一个地区男子的家就星期二上午。 Police raided the home of Larry Thompson, age 53, after a neighbor noticed “strange sounds” coming from the man’s basement.警方突击搜查家拉里汤普森， 53岁后，一位邻居发现“奇怪的声音”来自该名男子的地下室。 There, police discovered the Holy Spirit, trapped in an large glass bottle.在那里，警方发现了圣灵，被困在一个大玻璃瓶。

Missing since 1986, the Holy Spirit has been a misunderstood, mysterious, force in the world of Christian thought.失踪自1986年以来，圣灵一直误解，神秘的力量在世界上的基督教思想。 Police only began searching for the Holy Spirit recently, since no one had filed a mission persons report.警方只开始寻找圣灵最近，因为没有人提交了一份失踪人员的报告。

“We didn’t know he was gone,” said Pastor Lynn Spalding of Trinity Lutheran Church. “我们不知道他是走了，说： ”牧师林恩斯伯丁三位一体路德教会。 “Our faith doesn’t require the validation of experience.” “我们的信仰并不需要验证的经验” 。

Oddly enough, even local Assembly of God pastor Frank Ortiz didn’t realize that the Holy Spirit had been kidnapped.奇怪的，甚至当地大会上帝的牧师坦诚奥尔蒂斯并不知道圣灵被绑架。 “We just assumed that he was withholding his presence from us until we were worthy for revival,” said the Pentecostal minister. “我们只是假设他是隐瞒他的存在，从我们，直到我们都值得为复苏，说： ”五旬节部长。

When local Baptist pastor Charles Graham was told that the Holy Spirit had been found, he expressed surprise: “You mean there actually IS a Holy Spirit?”当本地浸礼会牧师格雷厄姆查尔斯获悉，圣灵被发现，他表示惊讶： “你的意思存在，实际上是一个神圣的精神” ？

Thompson tried ransoming the Holy Spirit several times between 1986 and 1995, but Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, and Pentecostal leadership were unwilling to pay the $250,000 ransom price.汤普森试图ransoming圣灵数倍之间的1986年和1995年，但天主教会，路德会，浸信会，五旬节的领导都不愿支付二十五点○○○万美元赎金价格。 As ransom attempts failed, Thompson stored the Holy Spirit away in his basement for “safe keeping.”作为赎金的尝试失败，汤普森储存圣灵的距离在他的地下室为“保管” 。

According to early reports, Thompson “completely forgot about the Holy Spirit” until several months ago, when the Spirit started to据最初的报道，汤普森“完全忘记了圣灵” ，直到数个月前，当精神开始 groan wordlessly呻吟wordlessly . 。 Eventually, the groans became loud enough to upset neighbors.最终，成为响亮的呻吟，足以扰乱邻居。

The Holy Spirit isn’t pressing charges.圣灵是不迫切的收费。

Editor’s Note: Don’t worry, the Holy Spirit should be recovered enough to make his regular annual appearance at Pentecost on May 11. 编者的话：不要担心，圣灵的应收回足以使他每年定期出现在圣灵降临节5月11日。 In honor of this esteemed day: don’t forget your submission to the 在荣誉的尊敬，这天：请不要忘记您提交给 Pentecost Writing Competition 圣灵降临节征文比赛 ! ！ And don’t forget. 不要忘了。 We need regular submissions to keep the content flowing as well. 我们需要经常保持意见书的内容，流向，以及。

MacArthur Launches “Nothing Must Change” Tour麦克阿瑟推出“无关，必须改变”之旅

In a calculated counter-measure to在计算对策 Brian McLaren布赖恩麦克拉伦 ’s upcoming '即将推出 Everything Must Change Tour一切必须改变旅游 ., noted author, evangelist, and pastor 。指出，作者，传播者，和牧师 John MacArthur约翰麦克阿瑟 announced Wednesday that he is launching the周三宣布他是发射 Nothing Must Change Tour没有什么必须改变旅游 . 。

McLaren’s book suggest that contemporary Christianity is complicit with (or at least hands-off) about the world’s deepest problems.麦克拉伦的书表明，当代基督教是共犯与（或至少手中小康）关于世界的最深切的问题。 He suggests that our understanding of Jesus, the Kingdom of God, and the Gospel are overly concerned with “other-worldly” things and powerless at confronting what he calls the “suicide machine”–the global system of economics, politics, and military power.他建议，我们的认识耶稣，上帝的王国，和福音过于关注“其他-世俗”的东西，无力在对抗他所谓的“自杀机”的全球制度的经济，政治和军事强国。

“Poppycock,” says MacArthur. “ poppycock ，说： ”麦克阿瑟。 “The evangelical church has been helping to build the status quo for hundreds of years…we’re not about to abandon it now just because of a few wrinkles.” “福音派教会一直在帮助建设的现状，数百年来… …我们还没有关于放弃，现在只是因为数皱纹” 。

In a press conference for his Nothing Must Change Tour, MacArthur argues that the current global crisis helps drive people to Jesus: “It is in our best interests to make the world an inhospitable place,” commented MacArthur.在新闻发布会上，他没有必须改变游览，麦克阿瑟认为，目前的全球性危机帮助驱动人耶稣： “这是我们的最佳利益，使世界一荒凉的地方， ”评论麦克阿瑟。 “That way sinners will be driven to the loving arms of our vengeful God.” “这样的罪人，将推动向爱好武器，我们复仇的上帝” 。

ABOUT THE TOUR 关于游

The Nothing Must Change Tour will focus on connecting students with the “unchanging yet ever-relevant absolute truth of God’s sovereign plan.” According to MacArthur, “students aren’t interested in a church that is trendy, but a church that speaks the unadulterated, uncorrupted, undiluted, absolute truth of the Bible.”该没有什么必须改变旅游将集中于连接学生与“不变，但以往任何时候都有关的绝对真理，上帝的主权”计划，根据麦克阿瑟， “学生不感兴趣，在一所教堂是时髦，但教会的讲话该unadulterated ，廉政建设，原液，绝对真理的圣经“ 。

In a radio interview on KQUO, a conservative Christian talk radio station in Sacramento, MacArthur further explained: “The church has been a chaplain to power for 1700 years.在接受电台采访时就kquo ，保守的基督教谈电台在萨克拉门托，麦克阿瑟进一步解释说： “教会一直是牧师，以权力为一千七百年。 Why mess with that?为什么一团糟，与？ As long as the substitutionary view of the atonement is proclaimed, I’m happy.只要把substitutionary鉴于赎罪是宣布，我很高兴。 And that is what the Nothing Must Change Tour is all about–maintaining dogmatic orthodoxy and submitting to the governing authorities.”这是什么，什么必须改变旅游是所有有关的维护教条式的正统，并提交给执政当局“ 。

The tour will visit twelve cities nationwide throughout the month of August:巡回赛将访问12个城市在全国范围内整个8月份：

• August 2: Cedarville University (Cedarville, OH) 8月2日： cedarville大学（ cedarville ，哦）
• August 4: Atonement Evangelical Methodist Church (Chattanooga, TN) 8月4日：赎罪福音事工促进会，基督教卫理公会（查塔努加，田纳西州）
• August 5: International House of Truth (Virginia Beach, VA) 8月5日：国际众议院真理（弗吉尼亚州湾泳滩， VA部）
• August 7: Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (Louisville, KY) 8月7日：美南浸信会神学院（路易斯维尔，肯塔基州）
• August 9-10: Dallas Theological Seminary (Dallas, TX) 8月9日至10日：达拉斯神学院（在Dallas ， TX ）
• August 12: Word of God Chapel (Oklahoma City, OK) 8月12日：天主的圣言礼拜堂（俄克拉何马城，确定）
• August 16: Bible Community Church (Chicago, IL) 8月16日：圣经社区教会（芝加哥，白细胞介素）
• August 17: Stalwart Evangelical Church (Denver, CO) 8月17日：坚定的福音派教会（丹佛，合作）
• August 19: Northwestern College (St. Paul, MN) 8月19日：西北大学（圣保禄，锰）
• August 23: Great Plains Remnant Church (Lincoln, NE) 8月23日：大平原的残余教堂（林肯，氦氖）
• August 26: Golden Gate Theological Seminary (San Francisco, CA) 8月26日：金门神（旧金山，加州）
• August 27: Old Hickory Bible Church (Seattle, WA) 8月27日：旧山核桃圣经教会（西雅图，华盛顿州）

THE MAC ATTACK 陆委会攻击

Some are billing this as the theological battle of the year.有些是帐单，以此作为神学之战今年。 John MacArthur and Brian McLaren represent two competing futures for American evangelicalism.约翰麦克阿瑟和Brian麦克拉伦所代表的两个竞争期货为美国福音神学。 Clearly, MacArthur’s is still the dominant perspective, but ground is being lost to McLaren and other leaders of the so-called “Emergent Church Movement.”显然，麦克阿瑟的仍是占主导地位的角度看，但地面正在丧失，以麦克拉伦和其他领导人，即所谓“新兴教会的运动” 。

We tried to contact Brian McLaren for comment, but was only able to reach his executive assistant, Terry Gillespie, who assures us that “Brian has nothing to fear…the challenge from MacArthur will only foster greater conversation and dialog.我们试图联系布赖恩麦克拉伦发表评论，但只能够达成他的行政助理，特里吉莱斯皮，谁向我们保证， “布赖恩已经没什么可怕的…挑战，从麦克阿瑟，只会促进更大的交谈和对话。 And in the end, we’re confident that Brian’s niceness will convince everyone of the justness of our cause.”而在年底，我们确信， Brian的niceness将说服大家的正当性，我们的事业“ 。

Later, however, Brian McLaren issued a press release announcing an upcoming autumn tour promoting his soon-to-be-released book Everything Must Change Again. Dates for the next tour are still being decided, as several other major emerging church leaders are having their own tours throughout the rest of the year.稍后，不过，布赖恩麦克拉伦发出新闻稿，宣布在即将举行的秋季旅游促进他快将推出的图书都必须改变。日期为明年旅游现仍被决定，作为其他几个主要新兴教会领袖有其自己的旅行团整个其余的年。

Editor’s Note: This is a work of satire. 编者按 ： 这是一个工作的讽刺。 In fact, it should have been published yesterday (which was April Fool’s Day) but the new baby made me into a delinquent satirist. 事实上，它应该已经昨天公布的（这是愚人节的一天） ，但新的婴儿，使我成为一个欠费satirist 。 Before you launch your own Mack Attack on behalf of your beloved author (either McLaren or MacArthur), you should pause, take a deep breath, realize this is satire, and then lighten up. 之前，您启动自己的麦克攻击代表您心爱的作者（无论是麦克拉伦或麦克阿瑟） ，你应该暂停，采取深呼吸，认识到这是讽刺，然后减轻。

Book Review: Tim & Jesus Go to Church书评：添＆耶稣去教会

The book would make for a great sitcom: a pastor roadtrip across the United States, critiquing several church along the way.这本书会令一个伟大的情景喜剧：牧师roadtrip美国各地，批评的几个教堂在前进的道路上。 Henderson believes that evangelism requires listening to “the good, the bad and the ugly about Christianity in order to be a better minister.” So he invited Jesus, the Son of God and supposed “founder” of Christianity, to observe how modern American Christians are doing with the movement he started.亨德森认为，宣讲福音，需要听取“好，坏的和丑陋的基督教在为了一个更好的部长。 ”因此，他邀请耶稣，上帝的儿子和假定的“创始人”基督教，观察如何现代美国基督徒正在做的与该运动，他开始了。 Their travels took them to an urban outreach church, an Emergent church, a new monastic community, a liberal mainline church, and to an evangelical megachurch.他们的旅行带他们到市区外展教堂，一新兴教会，一个新的寺院的社会，一个自由的主线教会，和一个福音事工促进会， megachurch 。

In the book, Tim and Jesus discuss everything from preaching to music to location.在这本书中， Tim和耶稣讨论一切从说教，以音乐的位置。 Every step of the way, Jesus asks, “ Why do these churches have such different ideas on what it means to follow me? ” As a reader, I was drawn into the dialog and experiences.每一步的方式，耶稣问， “ 为什么这些教堂有这样的不同意见就意味着什么跟着我？ ： ”作为一个读者，我被卷入的对话和经验。 In a way, the book offers very few easy answers.在某种程度上，这本书提供了极少数简单的答案。 But it does show that while each of the churches has an honest approach to following the way of Jesus (except maybe Osteen’s Church), each community can learn much more from the way of the master.但它确实显示，虽然每个教会有一个诚实的做法，以下列方式耶稣（可能除了奥斯廷的教会） ，每个社区可以学习更多的从方式主。

Because the book revolves around the five communities that Tim and Jesus visit, I thought it to be appropriate to share the highlights of their experiences of each.因为这本书围绕五个社区添和耶稣的访问，我认为这是适当的分享突出了他们的经验，每个。 In particular, Jesus has a lot to say:特别是，耶稣有很多的话：

City Light International Street Mission 城市之光，国际街的使命

Tim and Jesus fist visit City Light International Street Mission, a small urban Pentecostal community in Nashville. Tim和耶稣的拳头访问城市之光，国际街的使命，一个小城市五旬社会在纳什维尔。 The book is generous in their description.这本书是慷慨，在他们的描述。 You could tell that both Jesus and Tim were weirded-out by the raw emotionalism and “pentecostal bells and whistles” of the worship service.你可以告诉这两个耶稣及添被weirded -由原料情和“五旬的编钟和口哨”的崇拜服务。 But they were soft in their criticisms.但他们的软，在他们的批评。

At one point in this section of the book, Tim states: “You could tell that the Mission doesn’t have the funding to reach out to these folks…but they do it anyways…that is commendable.” (22)在1点，在这一节的这本书，添国说： “你可以告诉该特派团不具备资金，接触到这些乡亲… …但他们这样做anyways …这是值得称赞的。 ” （ 22 ）
Jesus affirmed their heart for the poor: “ When they serve these friends of mine, it is like they are serving me. ” (22)耶稣肯定了他们的心为穷人说： “ 当他们所服务的这些朋友矿井，这就像他们所服务的我 ” 。 （ 22 ）

But their experience wasn’t entirely positive.但他们的经验并不完全是正面的。 At one point during the very loud and frenzied worship service, the pastor started prophesying that a “new move of the Spirit” would visit the church and spark a new revival for the healing of the nations.在1点期间，非常响亮和疯狂崇拜的服务，牧师开始prophesying一个“新举措的精神”将访问教会和引发新的复兴，为愈合的国家。 At the end of the prophecy, Jesus stood up and said: “ I have already told you.在去年底的预言，耶稣站起来，并说： “ 我已经告诉你。 The Kingdom of God is among you. 上帝的王国是在你们中间。 Stop looking for signs and wonders, and follow the gentle leading of my Spirit. ” Afterwards, Jesus got rebuked…and one elder attempted to “deliver” Jesus from a “spirit of rebellion.” (45-47) 停止寻找标志和奇迹，并按照温柔领导我的精神 “之后，耶稣得到责骂… …和一老，企图”提供“耶稣从”的精神，叛乱。 “ （ 45-47 ）

The Livingroom 该客厅

Next, Tim and Jesus visited The Livingroom, an Emergent-style church in Chicago.接下来， TIM和耶稣参观了客厅，一个新兴的风格教堂在芝加哥。 Tim thoroughly enjoyed himself, but Jesus fell asleep during the music portion of the gathering.添彻底享受自己，但耶稣睡着了，在音乐部分的聚会。 He said: “ It was so atmospheric.他说： “ 这是使大气。 What is it with urban hipsters and their mellow music? 它是什么，与市区hipsters和他们的醇厚的音乐吗？ At least the music at City Light was joyous…and City Light even had a song of lament. ” (68) 至少音乐在城市之光，是喜事… …和城市之光，甚至有一首歌的歌 “ 。 （ 68 ）

During their visit, the pastor gave a sermon about social justice…and how the Gospel was more about what you do than what you say…and that what you say isn’t really that important if you show love.访问期间，牧师讲道了关于社会正义… …以及如何福音是更多地了解什么，你做的比你说… …和你说的是不是真的那么重要说明：如果您查看的爱。 Afterwards, Tim and Jesus got into a deep conversation about whether or not they agreed.随后， TIM和耶稣陷入了深刻的交谈约不管他们是否同意。 Tim tended to agree with the statement, but Jesus disagreed: “ I was sitting there listening to this pastor tell his flock how I wasn’t very interested in preaching and proclaiming the Gospel.添倾向于同意的声明，但耶稣不同意： “ 我当时坐在那里，听这牧师告诉他的羊群如何，我不是很感兴趣，在鼓吹和宣布福音。 That upset me. 破坏了我。 Can’t he read? 他不能阅读？ Doesn’t he notice how much RED there is in the Gospels? ” 不通知他多少红色有在福音 “ ？

Humility House 谦卑内务

Humility House is one of a growing number of “new monastic” communities.谦卑的房子是其中一个，越来越多的“新寺院的社区” 。 Located in a poor part of Denver, Humility House practices hospitality, care for the poor, and engages in the occasional protest.设在一个贫穷的一部分，丹佛，谦卑众议院的做法好客，照顾穷人，从事在偶尔抗议。 There community is made up of about 12 members–8 of them living in the house.有社会作出了约12名成员8人住在家里。

Tim felt that the community was warm and inviting, but didn’t “get” what it was they were hoping to accomplish: “ I affirm their community and that they help a few people out from time to time, but this isn’t the sort of model that most Christians can follow.添认为，社会的温暖和邀请，但没有“得到”什么是他们希望来完成： “ 我肯定他们的社区和他们的帮助极少数人从时间，以时间，但，这并不是这类模型大部分基督徒可以遵循的模式。 And it could put off a lot of seekers.” 它可以推迟了很多求职者“ 。

Jesus disagreed: “ These are my kind of hippies.耶稣不同意： “ 这是我种嬉皮士。 These sorts of radicals really connect with an important part of my message. 这些各种各样的自由基真的连接的重要组成部分，我的邮件。 But they never seem to stick around for very long. 但他们似乎从来没有要坚持围绕很长时间。 How many of my brothers and sister hippies are still going strong from the movement they named after me in the 70s and 80s? ” Later on, Jesus writes: “ I wish they wouldn’t always be so dang serious. 有多少是我的兄弟和妹妹嬉皮士目前仍在进行强有力的运动，从他们的名字命名的，我在七十年代和八十年代 “ ？后来，耶稣写道： ” 我想他们不会总是那么党严重。 There is a time for simplicity. 有一个简单的时间。 But there is also a time for drink and song. ” 但也有一段时间因酒后和宋 “ 。

Trinity United Methodist Church 三位一体的联合卫理公会

Tim and Jesus connected with the mainline church the least. Tim和耶稣与主线教会最少。 This was the shortest section of the book.这是最短的一节这本书。 They visited Trinity United Methodist Church in Phoenix, Arizona.他们参观了三一联合卫理公会在亚利桑那州凤凰城。 Tim felt bored the whole time.添认为，钻孔的全部时间。 Jesus tried to mingle with folks in the foyer after the service, but no one seemed to be interested in him…just the idea of him.耶稣试图混杂在一起的乡亲，在大堂后服务，但没有人似乎有兴趣在他身上…只是他的想法。

Lakewater Community Church lakewater社区教堂

Finally, Jesus and Tim visited Lakewater Community Church in Dallas, Texas.最后，耶稣及添访问lakewater社区教会在美国德州达拉斯。 Lakewater has 30,000 members and proclaims a soft-message of prosperity and hope. lakewater有3.0万成员，并宣布软的讯息，繁荣和希望。 Tim had lots to stay about the techniques this church used to draw in lots of seekers.添有很多留在有关技术，这教会使用的提请，在大量的求职者。 But Jesus didn’t like his visit much.但耶稣不喜欢他的访问。 He writes that “ the leaders of this church reminded me of the folks who crucified me .”他写道： “ 领导人，这教会提醒我的乡亲我的人钉在十字架上 ” 。

After the service, Jesus was able to make an appointment with the pastor.后服务，耶稣是能够作出的委任与牧师。 But the meeting was cut short.但这次会议缩短。 The pastor didn’t believe that Jesus was the REAL Jesus.牧师不相信耶稣是真正的耶稣。 After all, this Jesus was much too shabbily dressed to be the REAL Jesus.毕竟，这耶稣是太大， shabbily穿着成为真正的耶稣。 On his way out, Jesus shook out his sandals on the step as he and Tim made their way back to California.他的出路，耶稣震撼了他的凉鞋就一步，因为他和添了他们的方式回到加州。

Closing Thoughts 关闭的思考

The book was pretty well written, though I could tell from Jesus’ sections that he hadn’t written a book before.这本书是相当不错的书面，但我可以告诉从耶稣的路段，他并没有写了一本书之前。 His insights were the most insightful, but I found I could relate with Tim’s perspective more easily.他的见解是最有见地，但我发现我可以涉及与添的角度来看，更容易。 Clearly, the two men had their favorite communities, and a couple that they didn’t like.显然，这两名男子曾到自己喜爱的社区，和一对夫妇，他们不喜欢。 But there are so many communities out there that you can’t really get a sense of what sort of church either would say is the “ideal church.” But I suppose that is the point.但有这么多的社区，在那里你不能真正得到的感觉是什么样的教会不是会说是“理想的教会” ，但我想这是一点。 We’re not supposed to be discontent with out communities as we strive for the ideal.我们不应该去的不满，指出社区作为我们争取的理想。 Instead, we are called to be as faithful to Jesus as we can in the sorts of communities that we find ourselves in.相反，我们是所谓的要作为忠实于耶稣，因为我们可以在各种社区，我们发现自己英寸

This was a work of satire. 这是一个工作的讽刺。 No such book exists. 没有这样的书存在。 And while Jesus doesn’t take road-trips to visit churches, I would like to assume that he is present, in some way, at all sorts of Churches. 而耶稣不采取道路人次参观教堂，我想假设他是目前，在以某种方式，在各种教堂。 Are we listening to what he has to say? 我们听其言，他说什么呢？

Virginia Church not in Virginia弗吉尼亚州的教会不是在维吉尼亚州

Possum Trot possum逐渐达到自己的战略 , VA/ ， VA部/ Harper哈珀 , WV – Along route 250 in Harper WV sits a small white church. ，西弗吉尼亚州-沿着国道2 50哈珀在西弗吉尼亚州坐在一个小的白色教堂。 New Freedoms Community Church was founded in 2003 by Pastor Ben Taggart.新的自由社会教会成立于2003年由牧师本taggart 。 Pastor Taggart, who graduated from seminary in 1988, had a dream to serve the rural peoples of western Virginia.牧师taggart ，毕业于神学院在1988年，有一个梦想，服务农村人民的维吉尼亚州西部。 When his small house church outgrew his living room he found St. Mark’s Methodist for sale not far from his home.“It was perfect” he says of the 150 year old building.当他的小房子教会outgrew他的起居室，他发现圣马克的循道卫理出售的不远处，从他的家。 “这是完美的” ，他说，该一百五十年老建筑。 “Sure, it had some minor issues but the congregation had taken really good care of it.” “肯定的是，它有一些枝节问题，但众已采取真正照顾好它” 。

But the existing congregation was so apt to leave the building behind they failed to mention that it wasn’t located in Virginia at all; but in Harper, West Virginia.但现有的聚集是如此容易离开大楼的背后，他们没有提及，这是不是设在弗吉尼亚州所有，但在哈珀，西维吉尼亚州。

“It wasn’t that we were trying to hide anything from Mr. Taggart” said Matthew Whitlock, St. Mark’s Real Estate agent “It just didn’t come up.” “这不是我们试图隐藏什么taggart先生说： ”马修怀特洛克，圣马克的地产代理商“这只是不来了” 。

Taggart bought the church and received the original deed, dated May 19th 1858, and it is true that the church was squarely located in Virginia at that time. taggart买教会和收到的原始契约，日期1858年5月19日，这是事实，教会正视设在弗吉尼亚州在那个时间。 But in June 1863, in the midst of the Civil War, West Virginia seceded from Virginia which placed the 5 year old church in the hands of Union Forces.但在1863年6月，在正处于内战，西弗吉尼亚州退出弗吉尼亚州置于五年的旧教会在手中的联盟部队。

Pastor Taggart did not know his church’s true location until Route 250 was repaved and a sign was placed 1/4 mile from his church: “Welcome to West Virginia: Buckle up it’s our law.”.牧师taggart不知道他的教会的真实位置，直到干线250 repaved和标志放在1 / 4 ，距离他的教会： “欢迎到西弗吉尼亚州：扣了这是我们的法律” 。

“It was a shock and it really messes up a lot of stuff. “这是一个冲击和是否真的餐厅了很多东西。 My heart is in Virginia.我的心在维吉尼亚州。 My home is in Virginia.我的家乡是在维吉尼亚州。 We have the Virginia State Flag in the church foyer.我们有维吉尼亚州旗在教会大堂。 Even our mission statement says ‘We are to be a light to the people of Virginia’” said Taggart.甚至我们的使命声明说， '我们要一盏灯，人民的弗吉尼亚州表示： “ taggart 。 “I never wanted my ministry to be encumbered by having to serve two states. “我从来没有想我部将设押因服务两个国家。 And I really like the rural folks in western Virginia not those inbred hicks in West Virginia.”和我真的很喜欢农村的乡亲在西部维吉尼亚州而不是那些自交系希克斯在西弗吉尼亚州“ 。

Indeed, Taggart seems to be “all about Virginia” said friend and congregation member Ted Hastings.事实上， taggart似乎是“所有关于弗吉尼亚州说： ”朋友和聚集会员泰德黑斯廷斯。 “He feels that God called him to be in a place where anyone can carry concealed.” “他认为，上帝叫他要在一个地方，任何人都可以进行隐蔽” 。

Taggart had even gone so far as to begin a lawsuit against St. Mark’s, Advance Realty who handled the transaction, and also the state of West Virginia for failing to ever change the deed. taggart甚至就开始状告圣马克，与时俱进，负责处理房地产交易，也是国家的西弗吉尼亚州未能以往任何时候都改变好事。

“My deed says Virginia. “我的契约说，维吉尼亚州。 I bought a church in Virginia.我买了教会在维吉尼亚州。 All I want, really, is for the people responsible for the mix up to put the church on a truck and move it a half mile south.”所有我想，真的，是为人民负责为混为一谈，把教会对一辆卡车和它移到一个半英里南“ 。

Whether or not that will happen remains to be seen.是否或不认为会发生，仍有待观察。 The church needs money for the lawsuit to go through but many of Taggart’s congregants have left for other congregations; especially those who live in Harper.教会需要钱官司要经过，但许多taggart的congregants留给其他教友;特别是那些生活在哈珀。

“Once Taggart figured out we lived in Harper he told us we were “ “一旦taggart揣摩，我们住在哈珀他告诉我们，我们” Yankees纽约洋基队 ” and made sarcastic comments about West Virginia from the pulpit.” said ex-parishioner Thomas Lance. “ ，并讽刺的评论，西弗吉尼亚州从讲坛。说： ”当然parishioner托马斯枪。

Harper exists well below the哈珀的存在，远低于 Mason-Dixon梅森-迪克森 line putting it squarely in the South.线把它正视在南方。

“Rural people have roots. “农村人有根。 I was born in Virginia.我出生在弗吉尼亚州。 My parents were born in Virginia.我的父母出生于弗吉尼亚州。 My Grandparents were born in Virginia.” Taggart says.我的祖父母出生在维吉尼亚州“ 。 taggart说。

“But I was born in Arkansas.” adds his wife, Shelly. “但我出生在美国阿肯色州的。补充说： ”他的妻子，谢利。

“And that, honey, is why you’ll never understand.” Ben Taggart explains with a smile. “ ，并说，蜂蜜，就是为什么你将永远不会明白。 ”本taggart解释，以微笑。

Editor’s Note: This is a work of fiction. 编者按 ： 这是一个工作的小说。 Any resemblances to real churches and/or people, while funny, are coincidental. 任何相似之处，真正的教会和/或人，而搞笑，是巧合。

Author Bio: : Tim Baer is an urban Mennonite who lives in Baltimore with his four children, his wife, and a cat that pees everywhere but eats the mice so he can’t get rid of her. 生物作者： ：蒂姆贝尔是一个城市基督教门诺会，他住在巴尔的摩与他的4个子女，他的妻子，和一只猫说， pees无处不在，但吃小鼠，使他无法摆脱她。 In his spare time he enjoys playing the drums, watching movies, and throwing down some mayhem in moshpits.在他的空余时间他喜欢玩鼓，看电影，并投掷了一些混乱，在moshpits 。 He is also obsessed with他亦是痴迷 Chik-Fil-A积-无线网络- 1 (A club, switch the meat, and a Dr. Pepper). （一俱乐部，切换肉类，和博士辣椒） 。

Contemporary Service blasted for being “too traditional”当代服务炮轰为“太传统”

Crest Falls, Iowa - In a town with only two churches some were excited to see St. Luke’s Episcopal Church advertise a new contemporary service.坝顶瀑布，爱荷华州-在一个城市只有两个教会一些人高兴看到圣卢克的圣公会刊登广告的一种新的当代服务。

“This really opened up the idea of returning to church for us. “这真的打开了的想法回到教会我们。 We were excited” said visitor Samantha Lewis.我们兴奋说： “游客萨曼莎刘易斯。 But that excitement soon turned to disappointment.但是，兴奋很快转为失望。 “It was horrible. “这是可怕的。 Simply atrocious.” Her husband added.简单的残暴“ 。她的丈夫补充说。

Saint Luke’s dates back to the 1930s where, for over 70 years, they have traditionally played hymns on Sundays.圣路加可以追溯到20世纪30年代的地方，为超过70岁，他们历来发挥的赞美诗，星期日。 Pastor Anderson, who generally oversees the morning service, thought it would be a great idea to introduce a new style of worship牧师安德森，他们普遍监督上午的服务，以为那将是一个很大的概念引入一项新的作风，崇拜
to this small town.这个小城镇。

“What we were really trying to do was take back this town for Christ” He says. “我们真的尝试做的是采取回到这个镇为基督” ，他说。 Evidently that first attempt failed.很明显，首先尝试失败。 “Our worship team practiced all week, I really don’t know what happened.” “我们崇拜队实行所有周，我真的不知道到底发生了什么” 。

Parishioner Jim Matthews thinks he has a clear idea as to what went wrong. parishioner吉姆马修斯认为，他有一个明确的想法，以了什么是错的。 “We were expecting uplifting songs from Caedmon’s Call or Switchfootvbut had to endure Paul Baloche and Rich Mullins tunes. “我们期待向上的歌曲，从卡德蒙的号召，或switchfootvbut不得不忍受保罗巴洛什和丰富的穆林斯曲调。 It just wasn’t contemporary enough.”它只是没有足够的当代 “ 。

Head usher and acoustic guitar player John Skinner echoed the Pastor’s sentiments “We really played our hearts out this morning but it was like playing to a crowd of Methodists.”头迎接和声学吉他手约翰斯金纳呼应牧师的感受： “我们真的发挥了我们的心指出，今天上午，但它是想扮演一个人群卫” 。

Jason Freeman, a 14 year old youth group member and drummer had mixed feelings “I really wanted to jam on a Skillet song or something from Disciple but the older guys thought I was crazy.”贾森弗里曼，一个14岁的青年组成员和鼓手曾百感交集： “我真的很想果酱就一skillet歌曲或从弟子，但老年人的家伙还以为我疯了” 。

Most members agreed, the music was too slow, the vocals whiney, and the pipe organ was no substitute for a keyboard.大多数委员同意，音乐过于缓慢，歌唱惠，以及管风琴不能取代键盘。 “I felt like I was a kid again……..in a Catholic service” said one church-goer who asked to remain anonymous. “我觉得像我小时候再次… … ..在一个天主教服务”一说，教会goer人要求保持匿名。

The music apparently wasn’t the only thing church members took issue with.音乐显然不是唯一的事，教会成员发生问题。 Ms. Dorothy Hackney, a 57 year alumni with the church, said vocalist Kelly Pitts “Looked like a streetwalker, not someone to bring us into the presence of the Lord.” Kelly was wearing a pair of jeans and a tank top as she belted out “Open the Eyes of my Heart”.阮德徽女士hackney ，五十七年的校友与教会说，声乐凯利皮茨“看上去像一streetwalker ，而不是有人给我们带来到在场的上帝” 。凯利被发现时身穿牛仔裤和坦克顶，因为她belted “开放的眼中，我的心” 。

Youth Pastor Stephen Daniels had petitioned the church for nearly two years to bring the new service to fruition.青年牧师斯蒂芬丹尼尔斯曾请愿，教会，为近两年来，带来新的服务成果。 In the end he won out; but for how long?在最后，他赢得了出来，但时间有多长？ “We really wanted to go in a more Emergent direction eventually,” he said “This really sets us back a couple of years.” “我们真的很想去，在一个更紧急的方向，最终， ”他说： “这真的套我们带回到数年” 。

Editor’s Note: This was a work of satire. 编者按 ： 这是一个工作的讽刺。 Any similarities between actual people or churches is funny, but coincidental. 任何异同实际的人或教会是搞笑，但巧合。

Author Bio: : Tim Baer is an urban Mennonite who lives in Baltimore with his four children, his wife, and a cat that pees everywhere but eats the mice so he can’t get rid of her. 生物作者： ：蒂姆贝尔是一个城市基督教门诺会，他住在巴尔的摩与他的4个子女，他的妻子，和一只猫说， pees无处不在，但吃小鼠，使他无法摆脱她。 In his spare time he enjoys playing the drums, watching movies, and throwing down some mayhem in moshpits.在他的空余时间他喜欢玩鼓，看电影，并投掷了一些混乱，在moshpits 。 He is also obsessed with Chik-Fil-A (A club, switch the meat, and a Dr. Pepper).他亦是痴迷植无线网络-一（一俱乐部，切换肉类，和博士辣椒） 。