Editor’s note: This marks the first of many (we hope) letters to the editor. The sorts of questions raised by readers are often more interesting than the sort of tripe we usually publish. :) If you would like to send a letter to Mark, please contact us and a response may be published along with the letter.

I found your site awhile ago and I am intrigued. On Ash Wednesday, I sit here in my predicament, which is that I was raised Catholic but I do not currently believe in Jesus– I haven’t believed for some years now. And even when I was Catholic, I still didn’t quite jive with Jesus– it was always Mary whom I prayed to. I have some questions which maybe you can answer.

Christians believe that God sent Jesus, his only son, to us to cleanse us of the stain of original sin. The common line I hear people say is “God loved us so much he sent his only son to die.”

First of all, this assumes that God does not show a sufficient amount of love in other religions.I think God does show enough love for us through other religions. I don’t believe in original sin. I struggle sometimes even with the idea that we have free will. I just don’t like the idea of God having children, I think its weird at best. And Jesus’s suffering is nothing compared to much of the suffering that has happened yesterday and is happening today.

Basically I believe in only one God, but I don’t think Jesus was his son, I think Jesus was a radical prophet. I have read material, including that on your site, which rehabilitates his image and brings it closer to who he might have actually been. But I still don’t have faith in him. I feel sort of spiritually homeless. I have tried Buddhism but it’s a little too abstract and ethereal for me. I am not about to convert to Judaism, as I don’t agree with their premise that they are the “chosen” people. I only believe in one God so I can’t be Hindu or Pagan.

I am still culturally Catholic– my family still practices Lent and celebrates all the holidays– Maybe that’s why I am writing you today, because it is on the holidays that I feel so conflicted, wishing that I actually believed in what I am celebrating. Any response from you is appreciated. Have a nice Ash Wednesday.

Best,

Emily

Dear Emily,

Thank you for your honest and thought-provoking email. It challenges the conventional wisdom about a number of issues (like the divinity of Jesus, original sin, the uniqueness of Christianity, free will, and human suffering). These issues is so profound that dozens and dozens have been written addressing each. Now I find myself needing to address them in a single article. ;)

It is impossible for me to write about these things in a way that is comprehensive and satisfactory. However, my hope is that I (or one of our many esteemed readers or contributors) can at least suggest some ways of looking at these matters that will help you on your journey. After all, the entire direction of one’s life can change with a single word, yet sometimes and ocean of words can crash against a life and affect no change whatsoever. So I offer these humble words in hopes that they assist you in at least some small way to come to a place where you no longer spiritually homeless.

Your questions hinge on this man named Jesus…a Jesus you were taught to love and worship. You find yourself living in the rhythm of that worship (referring to yourself as a “cultural catholic”) but find yourself at conflict. You don’t actually believe in these rhythms of worship, nor do you believe in their object of worship: Jesus Christ.

Or do you? You believe in the ideals and way of life of a radical prophet named Jesus. Perhaps you believe if everyone were like Jesus the world would be a far better place. That isn’t such a bad place to find one’s self.
After all, the disciples didn’t believe in Jesus’ divinity…at least not at first. They followed him for three years, hearing every word and seeing every miracle (if you believe the stories…which I do). Through it all, we never get the sense that they thought he was divine. That came later. We’re not even sure whether or not all of the writers of the New Testament believed in his divinity…at least not in the way that modern Catholics (and Protestands and Orthodox folks) think about the divinity of Christ.

Nor do we really have a strong development of the idea of original sin (which was more of an idea from Augustine than an idea from the New Testament). Personally, I look at the story of Adam and Eve as a sort of parable that explains the human condition. I also believe it is simply the human condition to be incomplete. We, in our incompleteness and fragility sin. There is no way around it. I don’t believe we are “stained” with original sin. Rather, I believe that all human beings are incomplete, immature, and broken. Therefore, our big need isn’t the need to be “cleansed” from “original sin” by the perfect God-man. Rather, our need is to find wholeness and completion in the way of Jesus.

None of this is to say that sin is a small issue. Nor is it to say that Jesus isn’t God. I believe that Jesus is God. In fact, even if I were convinced that there was no God, I’d still follow Jesus. Jesus does more than show us who God is, he also shows us how to be human. I believe that Jesus, more than any other human being, shows us the way of love. To be honest, this does imply that I think other religious systems are inferior in this regard.

But that isn’t to say that other religions are entirely false. In fact, some religious expressions are actually truer (it seems to me) than many Christian expressions. In fact, I believe that most Christianity, as it is currently understood and expressed, needs to be subverted and resisted. Much of Christianity is interested in thought-dominance. It seeks to assert core unassailable truths that cannot be questioned. It sees the WAY of Jesus…the way to love and lay down one’s life and to worship God in spirit and truth as secondary to a set of beliefs or routines.

In this way, I actually believe (and I hope nobody misunderstands me here) that it is more important to be a Buddhist follower of Jesus or a Catholic follower of Jesus or even an atheist follower of Jesus than it is to be some abstract thing called a “Christian.” After all, the disciples followed Jesus for years before they made up their minds about doctrine. Doctrine comes after discipleship, not before.

And this way of discipleship leads to a cross. The Cross of Christ isn’t remarkable primarily because it is that instrument by which God removed a mystical stain (like some divine mop) but the place in which Jesus lay down his life in a perfect act of love. The profundity of the Cross isn’t tied up in the amount of Jesus’ suffering, but in the depth of Jesus’ love. He was so in love with his people that he turned the other cheek in his crucifixion. On the cross, Jesus entered into the most violent place of Empire and subverted it through an act of political jujitsu.

About Mark Van Steenwyk

Mark Van Steenwyk is a member of Missio Dei. He is a speaker, writer, educator, and grassroots organizer. With the support of the Central Plains Mennonite Conference, he travels to radical and intentional communities around the country to help network and offer support.