The following is a back-and-forth sharing of thoughts between my wife and myself, a testimony of sorts about our rediscovery of following Jesus corporately. We hope it encourages and challenges you.

Jordan: I don’t recall when our first urge to leave church began. I’d been through a couple years of significant doubts and frustrations, having all but abandoned the faith entirely on several occasions and as a result putting myself and my wife through the emotional wringer. Part of the ongoing frustration was the perceived lack of empathy expressed in response to my questions. They were seen as threatening and potentially hazardous, as if voicing them could somehow lend the contagion form and infect others. At some point I realized that the most fulfilling spiritual moments I have had in the last 5 years have been either in solitude, in small home meetings (such as the wonderfully diverse and bizarre group we were part of for 3 months in Kuwait and the Christarchy meetings we crashed very occasionally at Mark & Amy’s house), and here on Jesus Manifesto.

Jenn: I don’t think that we had a specific point in our lives in which we decided to leave the church. I believe it was through a series of events and situations, trying to get plugged in and it not happening. We were not getting what we were looking for, which was a deep relationship with Jesus, instead we were getting caught up into going to a “building”. I was so taken by how nice the new renovations looked and how much better I thought the stage looked in a specific location, that it really was not about God any longer. Coupled with that was many people who seemed to care about us, but come to find out were only doing their job as greeters and staff at the church, people whom we haven’t heard from in months. We were really desiring community and long-lasting relationships, which we were not seeming to find. I definitely agree that some of the most fulfilling times were with our cell group, both in Kuwait and our young-married couples one here, which we have made some good relationships with. Although we don’t see these people on a regular basis we are in connection with them in some form of another. I have found hope in our current relationships and the people we have met that are on the same journey as we are. I can only hope and pray that we find more of these relationships and that we can help to build one another up and assist each other in our individual relationships with God.

Jordan: The scariest thing was just sitting down and getting started. Some acquaintances of ours found my handle on the Simple Church website, and emailed me about it. They were pastors in a growing church, and were increasingly feeling pulled in other directions, and strove to follow their Lord’s leading outside of that role and into a world of ambiguity, starting from scratch so to speak. A random meeting at an Emergent Cohort meeting (which I almost never attend) brought a couple other people into my life, one of whom was relatively local and eager for a spiritual community. Slowly things coalesced, and we met at our house one evening.

Jenn: The days leading up to the first gathering where probably the most overwhelming. I didn’t know what to expect out of our first time having a meeting and I was afraid of it being awkward and all of the other fun things that come along with trying to get something up and running with people you don’t really have close relationships with just yet. It is different when you are in a huge church and you go to service and then walk out right after it is finished. You don’t have to talk to anyone if you don’t want to and it really helps one be anti-social if you will, if that is what they choose to do. With having house gatherings, you almost always participate, whether it be reading scripture, praying, encouraging someone, and things along the lines of that. Much to my surprise though, I felt very comfortable and I received so much from God and from others that night. I was truly blessed and encouraged and could totally feel God’s presence in all of it.

Jordan: Then began the pull-back. Job stress, child care, school and other responsibilities pushed that first night to the back of our minds….for over a month! Finally Jenn confronted me in the car one day, saying “Are we doing this or not? Cause we’re not doing anything else and it’s bothering me!”. I agreed with her, and we set off in a couple different directions: attending a local service but also reestablishing contact with the people we met that first night.

In the meantime, the other couple had met with some folks who had been doing this for some time, and had been going to their house for meetings (some apparently rather large). I’ll be honest – I felt a little jealous, like we had some sort of corner on the market we needed to protect. But the result was much better: we were committed to one another, but in seeking the best for each other, if we went to services or other homes or whatever, God bless it. And it made our subsequent meetings much richer.

Jenn: I really like how we can get together even to just play games or share a meal together. It is so nice to have a relaxed get-together and talk about what God is doing in our lives and lift up prayer requests. Although, having “church services” is nice, it’s also important to have fellowship time and be able to be more on a comfortable level with one another, where you feel like you can share absolutely anything with one another. I am so excited that I found a group of people that I can trust with important issues in my life.

Jordan: As am I. It’s challenging to stretch and open myself up to people in a deeper way, but it’s been rewarding each step forward thus far. I’m looking forward to seeing what comes of the coming year.

Where do we go from here? It’s a good question, and one I don’t really know the answer to. But between networks such Simple Church and the Common Root, the tendrils that extend outward from our own gatherings, and relationships with other groups such as Missio Dei, we’re looking forward to learning.

Some starting points:

SimpleChurch
Common Root
Reimagining Church
So You Don’t Want To Go To Church Anymore

Author Bios: Jenn & Jordan Peacock live and work south of the Twin Cities with their daughter Norah. Jesus Manifesto has been an online refuge for them for some time, and it is now giving birth to local fellowship with a peculiar collection of beautiful people. They welcome anyone who wishes to join them.

About Mark Van Steenwyk

Mark Van Steenwyk is a member of Missio Dei. He is a speaker, writer, educator, and grassroots organizer. With the support of the Central Plains Mennonite Conference, he travels to radical and intentional communities around the country to help network and offer support.