Tony Jones, author of the New Christians: Dispatches from the Emergent Frontier, announced today that he will be leaving Emergent Village. Tony will be taking a new position with Smurf Village, where he will serve as an assistant to Papa Smurf.

According to Jones (who will now be known as “Tony Smurf”), the move “affirms the way in which God is at work in the world today.” Jones believes that it is important for emerging Christians to “reach out to established traditions” with “smurfy cooperation.”

Speculations abound regarding the transition. But Jones asserts that this move is motivated by a desire to “bring the life and teachings of the Smurf world to the larger Body of Christ.” Says Jones (Tony Smurf): “Smurf spiritual disciplines and social justice practices are respected by millions around the world. I think of this as a necessary step for our two villages to work together for the Kingdom of God.”

Critics are wary. Addressing a gathering of young church planters, Mark Driscoll commented: “Emergent keeps going further to the left. It is no wonder that Tony has blatantly embraced the communist teachings of the Smurfs. The next thing you know, Smurfette will become the national coordinator of Emergent Village.”

Other critics believe that it is “unnatural” to live in mushrooms and that it is “indecent” to go without shirts.

Director of Smurf Village, Papa Smurf, believes that these criticisms are “without base.” Says Papa Smurf: “Does not our Lord say ‘do not smurf, lest ye be smurfed?’–I believe that critics should give us a little slack as we explore what it means to live in a post-smurf world.”

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Disclaimer: This is a work of satire…Tony is still the national coordinator for Emergent. Any resemblance between Tony Smurf and Brainy Smurf is entirely coincidental. To support the wonderful work that he (Tony, not Brainy) does, buy his latest book here. The rumor is, it is smurfin’ good.

About Mark Van Steenwyk

Mark Van Steenwyk is a member of Missio Dei. He is a speaker, writer, educator, and grassroots organizer. With the support of the Central Plains Mennonite Conference, he travels to radical and intentional communities around the country to help network and offer support.