Al Mohler Takes Stand on Emergent Profanity
DISCLAIMER: Due to a thoughtful (offline) response to this article (which is 100% satirical), I have edited it to make it less offensive.
Times are changing. And not for the better, says Al Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. Dr. Mohler is concerned by the growing “Emergent” church movement (ECM)–a growing network of dissatisfied rebellious young adults who have decided to do church their own way.
In a recent broadcast of the Al Mohler Radio Program, Dr. Mohler stated: “These Emergent Christians–if indeed they are still Christians–are leading our young people astray. They challenge core doctrines like the substitutionary atonement, inerrancy, and the headship of men in the church and home.”
When asked about his biggest concern with the ECM, Dr. Mohler responded, “My biggest concern is that they are lowering the bar on personal and public morality. Emergents are drinking and cussing and taking a lax stance on sexual immorality–including homosexual perversion. But it is the cussing that concerns me the most.”
Emerging Profanity
A recent study by the Barna Group shows that 92% of pastors who identify with the label “emerging” or “emergent” believe that profanity is “ok in the right circumstances.” This is contrasted with Southern Baptist pastors, 3% of which feel that profanity is acceptable.
“The other day I met with a self-described Emergent pastor,” says Mohler. “I couldn’t believe my ears–there we were debating about the nature of the law when that young man said: ‘I simply will not accept that I need to make someone feel like sh*t before they can receive the Gospel’–can you believe that? He said the word sh*t. Right there at Starbucks.”
When asked to explain his distaste for profanity, Dr. Mohler continued: “You see, I find the word ’sh*t’ offensive. The bible says to avoid unwholesome talk. I also dislike the words *&%, ^%$&, @!%$, *&^&%#, @!%$#*&%, *&#@%, and *!@&$^%?#.”
We wanted to let Emergent Christians respond to these serious criticisms, so we went to the coordinator of Emergent Village, Tony Jones. When asked to comment on these allegations, Mr. Jones responded: “I don’t give a sh*t what Al Mohler thinks.”









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