Bovenkant

ik zie een geestelijke directeur…

Geschreven door Mark Van Steenwyk: 31 mei, 2007

Ik zit buiten st. De Kerk van Olaf in Minneapolis van de binnenstad. In notulen zal ik mijn geestelijke directeur voor het eerst samenkomen. Ik ben een weinig zenuwachtig…

::: UPDATE:::

Ik schreef bovengenoemd met mijn celtelefoon omdat ik bored was.  Ik dacht niet de mensen eigenlijk op het commentaar zouden geven.  Maar ik ben blij sommige mensen.  Het biedt me de kans om te verklaren welke geestelijke richting is, en waarom ik het achtervolg.

Iemand gaat naar een geestelijke directeur over het leven en geestelijke kwesties delen.  De geestelijke directeur luistert, stelt vragen, en helpt de persoon onderscheiden waar de God in het leven van de persoon aanwezig is.  De directeur helpt verwerken en kan suggesties over geestelijke oefeningen of praktijken geven.

Ik benaderde mijn directeur omdat ik vond als ik hulp ervarend de vrede van de God in het midden van mijn ministerie nodig had.  Ik heb veel op dit ogenblik bezorgdheid over mijn plaats in het leven.  Wij worstelen financieel en ik vind als er ton dingen is dat ik op mijn plaat kon zetten en ik had één of andere hulp met onderscheidingsvermogen nodig.  En omdat zo veel van dit strijd en gevoel dat ik in Missio Dei verbonden is heb gehad, vond ik het goed zou zijn om iemand buiten mijn situatie te zien.

Het idee is mijn geestelijke directeur geen te hebben de intimiteit van geestelijke vriendschap vervangen, maar het aan te vullen.  Noch is hij een „Antwoord Mens.“ Hij moet daar me helpen mijn geestelijk leven op God centreren.

Mijn geestelijke directeur is een mens genoemd David Rothstein. I got into contact with him through a Mennonite pastor friend.  I was praying for a spiritual director who understood monasticism, undertood Anabaptism, and would be able to “get” my situation with Missio Dei.  David was an answer to prayer.  He spent 17 years as a brother at St. John’s Abbey and understands exactly where I’m coming from.

I’m slightly uncomfortable sharing this…it has come to my attention that lots of friends and family read my blog (but never comment)…and many of these family and friends might be “weirded out” that I am visiting a former monk for spiritual direction (though I’m sure I’ve divulged much more disturbing things on this blog!).

Some people have voiced concern that I’ve gone off the theological deep end. How does a good conservative charismatic evangelical end up a Social-Justice-promoting, Catholic-loving, anti-imperialist, neo-monastic, peace-loving Anabaptist?  I understand their concern. I really do.  But I’m still the same Mark, but certain areas of my thinking have indeed intensified and developed.  While other areas of thought have recessed.  The only part of my Christian past that I’ve rejected is Calvinism.  I’m still a charismatic (by most general definitions).  I’m still an evangelical (by some standards).  I’ve always had anti-imperial, anti-consumerist leanings.  I’ve always teetered on the edge of pacifism.  And I’ve been a secret admirer of much of the Catholic Tradition (especially the monastic stuff) for a LONG time.

So what happened? Well, when I decided to leave comfort, security, and common sense behind, things shifted.  As I began to read the Gospels seriously–as though Jesus’ teachings and actions were CENTRAL to my life, things shifted.  As I began to try to live out the Christ-life, things shifted.  My theology began to shift and move as I EXPERIENCED Christ in my life.  When you experience Christ in the poor, you read Scripture differently.  Orthopraxy rises up to the lofty perch of Orthodoxy and they become best friends.  And my best reading of Scripture, mixed with my best theological thoughts, combined with my experience of God’s presence (in Christ and through the Spirit) end up looking very much like a Social-Justice-promoting, Catholic-loving, anti-imperialist, neo-monastic, peace-loving Anabaptist who still maintains the best (as I see it) of the charismatic and evangelical movements.

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Comments

9 Responses to “i’m seeing a spiritual director…”

  1. Anna on May 31st, 2007 9:53 am

    Prepare for doing so many push-ups that you will cry on the floor like a baby… oh, wait…spiritual director. Pshaw, you’ll be fine. Your ego will take a kicking, but that is what you signed up for, right?

  2. Mak on May 31st, 2007 10:01 am

    what is this spiritual director for?

  3. Jeff on May 31st, 2007 10:33 am

    what is a spiritual dir? Who is your spiritual dir?

  4. dlw on May 31st, 2007 12:19 pm

    who maybe someday will start voting again and encourage others to do likewise in creative independent ways?…

    just messing with ya!

    I think it’s great that you are seeing a spiritual director. My director is my great uncle Rob Boyd. I’m also glad you got that doxy and praxy thing wrapped together, now we gotta try and change some of both parts… ;-) dlw

  5. markvans on May 31st, 2007 12:39 pm

    :)

  6. Mak on May 31st, 2007 1:33 pm

    I think that’s wonderful. I need that actually.

    I totally know what you mean about the change you have experienced and how people might perceive it. My husband and I have undergone a similar change. we used to be “good right wing charismatic evangelicals”..now…well, let’s just say things are different in much the same way as you.

    May God give you direction and wisdom and honor your heart searching for his voice

  7. Jeff on May 31st, 2007 4:35 pm

    That is cool. I do not know the old Mark, well I really do not know the new Mark either. I think we have a similar journey, experiencing God and seeking Justice. Keep on the journey.

  8. Barbara on May 31st, 2007 5:02 pm

    I’ve been thinking/praying about getting a spiritual director so your post was very helpful….thanks.

  9. Nate B on May 31st, 2007 9:21 pm

    Mark, truth be told, you are not really that weird seeing a spiritual director, and I think more than not, most people probably think it is a cool thing to see a spiritual director. Of course, this is coming from a guy who has been seeing someone for three years. I would say it is one of the BEST things someone can do for their personal and spiritual life. Everyone should see a director and we should be training to be directors ourselves.
    Later.

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