Unsustainability: A Lament不可持续性：慨叹
Written by Mark Van Steenwyk : April 23, 2007写的马克范steenwyk ： 2007年4月23日
As Amy and I drove back from Chicago, after spending time with作为艾米和我开车回到芝加哥后，花时间与 David Fitch朱惠誉 and his family (who are great, by the way)和他的家人（谁是巨大的，由单程） Life on the Vine生命的葡萄 , and ， up/rooted /植根 , we were feeling good. ，我们感觉很好。 We were confident in our calling and things felt right with the world.我们有信心在我们的要求，并认为正确的东西，与世界。 Sure, there have been struggles.当然，也有已斗争。 But most are behind us.但大多数是我们的背后。 Our neo monastic experiment to live out the radical Jesus life in the margins has been difficult, but things are beginning to look up.我们的新寺院的实验生活了激进的耶稣生活在边缘地带已困难的，但事情已经开始期待了。 Missio Dei is getting stronger and going deeper.使命dei壮大，并不断深化。 We have new opportunities all the time to do some really amazing ministry.我们有新的机会，所有的时间做一些实在惊人部。 And people are being transformed.和人民正在转化。 Things with InterVarsity are good…my fundraising efforts aren’t paying off as well as I’d hoped, but I enjoy InterVarsity, get opportunity to impact students lives all the time, and recently received a chapter planting grant.东西intervarsity是好的…我的筹款努力，不见成效，以及我要希望，但我享受intervarsity ，得到的机会，影响学生生活的所有时间，而最近收到的一章，种植补助金。 Speaking gigs在谈到演出 are becoming more frequent, and I’m working on a book that has lots of potential.是变得更加频繁，我工作的一本书，有很多的潜力。 On top of all of that, I’m exploring new ways of empowering people to follow the radical path of Jesus through再加上所有的，我觉得我探索的新路子，增强人们按照激进的道路，耶稣通过 Chirstarchy! chirstarchy ！ Things are getting better.事情是越来越好。
Or so I thought.或所以我以为。 This morning, the roller coaster plunged.今天上午，翻滚过山车暴跌。 The price of our mortgage–which we can’t afford as it is–has increased.价格，我们的按揭，我们不能因为它是-有所增加。 Unforeseen bills and expenses have arived.不可预见的票据和开支arived 。 And we find ourselves closer to the brink than ever before.和我们所处的接近边缘，比以往任何时候都。 Our personal financial situation is on the brink.我们个人的财务状况是对的边缘。 And for all the signs of promise, things haven’t changed on the home front.和所有的迹象承诺，事情并没有改变对民政战线。 One moment, you’re optimistic.一时刻，您是乐观的。 The next, you’re in despair.未来，您在绝望中。 My heart is overwhelmed.我的心是不堪重负。 I don’t know how much longer I can take this roller-coaster ride.我不知道多久，我可以借这个过山车的旅程。 It is unsustainable.这是不可持续的。
Often, when I share these sorts of laments with fellow church leader types, they commiserate and say “welcome to church planting.” Screw that.很多时候，当我分享这些各种各样的感叹与研究员教会领导人的类型，他们commiserate ，并说“欢迎教会种植。 ”螺丝钉。 I’m tired of having my lamentation stolen from me.我已经厌倦了有我的lamentation被偷去了我。 I’ve done church planting before…and what Amy and I have gone through in the past year isn’t the same.我已经做了教会种植前… …和艾米是什么，我经历了在过去的一年是不一样的。
Our grief is amplified by the recognition that it doesn’t have to be this way.我们的悲痛是扩增承认，它没有必须这样做。 This morning, I’m plagued by the recognition–and the temptation–that it still isn’t too late to scrap everything and do church in the urban-hipster, gather-the-upwardly-mobile-urbanites, let’s-draw-a-crowd-of-cultural-creative-savvy-people, sort of way.今天早上，我很困扰的承认和诱惑， - ，它仍然是为时未晚废料的一切，做教会在市区-列表Hipster ，收集- -向上移动-城市居民， let's -借鉴- 1 -人群的文化-创意的巴黎人-人民，排序的方式。 That isn’t to say that such an approach is EASY.这并不是说，这种做法很容易。 It is just EASIER.它只是更容易。 And I have no doubt in my mind that I could pull that sort of thing off…if only.我毫不怀疑在我心目中，我可以拉诸如此类的事情，小康… …如果只。 If only my heart were in it.如果只有我的心都是在它。
Being faced with poverty (Amy and I have been operating at about 1400 a month or less for over 9 months) is made all the crueler knowing that we have taken this path with full recognition that this could happen.面对贫穷（艾米和我一直在经营约1400个月或以下的超过9个月）是所有残酷知道我们已采取这条道路，充分认识到，这可能发生。 But in my pride, I think, I denied that it WOULD happen.但在我的骄傲，我觉得，我否认它会发生。 I assumed that my skill and grit would kick in and, once again, I would pull it off.我以为我的技能和砂砾将在揭幕，并再次，我将退出它关闭。 I would have thought that my fundraising with InterVarsity would be much better.我认为我的募款与intervarsity会好得多。 But I miscalculate.但我打错算盘。 I miscalculated just how “fringe” our activities seemed to folks. i打错了算盘只是如何“附带”我们的活动似乎乡亲。 I miscalculated how many people I thought would love to share in our ministry on the West Bank. i打错了有多少人我以为会爱分享我们的部关于西岸。 I miscalculated my own ability to raise support. i打错了，我自己的能力，提高支持。 I was arrogant.我是傲慢。
And so I lament.所以我慨叹。 I lament this situation. i慨叹这种情况。 But, in spite of it all, I don’t think I would have done it any other way. Even still , Amy and I embrace our calling.但是，尽管有这一切，我不认为我会做任何其他方式， 甚至还有 ，艾米和我拥抱我们的要求。 We love the West Bank.我们爱西岸。 We love the University of Minnesota.我们爱美国明尼苏达大学。 We love Missio Dei.我们热爱使命dei 。 We love the possibility of the impossible breaking through–the God of Redemption sweeping in at the final act. Deus Ex Machina .我们爱的可能性，不可能冲破-上帝的救赎的清扫，在在最后的行为。 deus前machina 。
Don’t worry, this isn’t an announcement that we’re quitting.不用担心，这不是一个宣布，我们正在戒烟。 But it is a cry of lament.但它是一个哭泣的慨叹。 Things have been bad before.事情已坏之前。 And I’ve griped a number of times on this blog.我已经griped了很多次，关于这个博客。 But, for the first time in my life, I’m worried that my house will be foreclosed.但是，对于第一次在我的生活，我很担心我的房子将在外。 I’m worried about where Amy and I will be in 2 months.我担心的地方艾米和我将在2个月。 I’m worried that I’ll fall over the edge.我担心我会跌倒的边缘。 I’m worried that there is a chance that all that we’ve been working towards might crumble.我担心是有机会，所有我们已经努力可能会崩溃。 So, while ministry looks good, our own financial struggles jeopardize it all.因此，尽管财政部看起来很不错，我们自己的金融斗争危及它所有。 And that feels horrible.并觉得可怕。
How long, O Lord?多久，主啊？
UPDATE: After chatting with a good friend, I’ve decided that I need to explore a couple options: 1) I need to refinance my house. 更新：聊天后，与一位好朋友，我已经决定，我需要探索一对夫妇选项： 1 ）我需要再融资，我的房子。 We are simply unable to break even if we sell right now.我们只是无法打破，即使我们现在出售的权利。 2) I need to beg my InterVarsity boss to increase the financial flow. 2 ）我需要乞求我intervarsity老板，以增加资金流动。 If he isn’t able to do that, I need to discuss pulling back from IV for a while and get a part time job.如果他是无法做到这一点，我要讨论拉回到从四为一，而得到的一部分兼职工作。 The problem is that my current time commitments to InterVarsity make it almost impossible to get a part time job.问题是我目前的时间承诺， intervarsity使它几乎不可能得到的一部分兼职工作。 So I need either more money from IV or I need to cut back on my commitments to IV and get a part time job.因此，我需要的不是更多的钱从四或我要削减对我的承诺，中四及中获得的一部分兼职工作。 3) I need to cut back on speaking and writing and meeting with various folks and focus most of my energy on fundraising. 3 ）我需要削减对口语和写作和会议与各乡亲和重点我大部分的精力放在筹款。 That means that I have to 4) rethink how I do fundraising and try an approach that will actually work for me.这意味着，我要4 ）重新考虑如何，我筹款和尝试的做法，实际上会的工作对我来说。
for further reading .为进一步读。 . 。 . 。
- None Found无发现
Read this when you think your lamenting in nearly through or you can’t bear to wait any longer…阅读这本时，您认为您的慨叹，在近通过或者您也可以不忍心再等…
My naive question would be, Why can’t you plant a church/community which is both creative-urban-upwardly mobile and down-and-outsiders?我天真的问题将是，为什么你们不能电厂一所教堂/社区这既是创意的城市-向上和向下移动和外人？ Perhaps I do not see the demographic topography well enough to see the impossibility.也许我没有看到人口的地形，以及足够的看到不可能的事。 Maybe Missio Dei could be a bridge between the two groups?也许使命dei可之间的桥梁，两组？ Would this be a Jesus-way to accomplish His kingdom building in the West Bank?这会是一个耶稣程完成他的王国建设，在西岸？
Sure, one can do that.肯定的是，一可以这样做。 Just not on the West Bank, not unless you want to attrach urban hipsters from outside the neighborhood to a cool event.刚才不是在约旦河西岸，而不是除非您想要attrach市区hipsters以外的居委会，以冷静的事件。 If one assumes that church starts with gathering a group of interested people around a set of ideas, then one can try to do both and have only about 20% of the church actually involved in the neighborhood.如果一个假设教会开始收集的一组有兴趣的人，周围的一套想法，然后一个可以尝试做两种，并已只有约20 ％的教会，实际上涉及的居委会。 If, however, one starts with the assumption that the best way to start a church in an urban diverse, largely lower-economic status neighborhood is to be incarnationally present and have the gathering become an expression of stuff that is already happening relationally, then you can’t have a lot of both in the beginning.但是，如果一开始的假设是最好的方法，开始对教会在一个城市的不同，主要是较低的经济地位，居委会是要incarnationally目前并已收集成为一个表达的东西，就是已经发生relationally ，那么你不能有很多的，无论是在开始。 The temptation I’m facing (which honestly isn’t that tempting for me…it is more like a harassing thought) is whether to start putting on a big show for cool people that lets uncool people attend if they want.诱惑，我所面临的（老实说，不是诱人的，我… …这是更象了骚扰的思想）是是否开始把对一个大显示冷静的人，让不酷的人参加，如果他们希望。 That is the quickest, most economically impressive, and shiniest way to start an urban church.这是最快，经济最令人印象深刻，和shiniest的方式来启动城市教会。 But so many people are left out of that approach.但这么多的人被排除这种做法。
Mark,马克，
While I may not agree with the style of church you are planting, I’m behind you because I see that your heart is truly for the people of the West Bank.虽然我可能不同意的作风，教会你是种植，我背后的你，因为我看到你的心是真正为人民的西岸。 That’s why you get my money and prayers.这就是为什么你让我的钱和祈祷。
Other related thought:其他相关的思考：
Your financial woes and otherwise are a way of joining your mission field.您的财务困境，否则是一种方式加入你的任务领域。 Believe me, I KNOW how you feel.请相信我，我知道你的感受。 Been there, have barely broken even this last year.一直在那里，几乎没有破碎，甚至去年。 I’m even starting graduate school in a discipline I don’t care for to get out of loan payments.我甚至开始研究生院在一门学科，我不照顾摆脱偿还贷款。 *Wince* * * WinCE的
Maybe you need to recognize that you ARE one of those urban-hipsters (though not in the financial column), coming in from the outside to the West Bank.也许你需要认识到，你是这些城市hipsters （虽然不是在金融栏） ，未来在从外到西岸。 Now you really really know how it is to be flat broke and make painful choices, just like your new neighbors.现在，您真的真的知道它是如何将持平或破裂，作出痛苦的选择，就像是您的新邻居。
I’m part of a rare church that has both types of folk, and somehow it works.我的一部分，一种罕见的教会有两种类型的民歌，并在某种程度上，它的工程。 Now, it isn’t growing all too fast because of other factors, but the core group is really tight.现在，这不是日益增长的所有太快，因为其他因素，但核心小组，实在是紧张。 They are still friendly and diverse.他们仍然是友好的和多样化。 It is possible.这是可能的。
Dang, I can relate to this totally.党，我可以与此完全。 Frankly, I wish I couldn’t.坦白说，我想我不能。 But since misery loves company I thought I’d let you know.但由于苦难热爱公司，我认为我想要让你知道。
The last church I planted was more of a typical type of church.最后教会种植更多的是一个典型的类型的教会。 I had naive hopes of it being somewhat different, but I was wrong.我曾天真地希望它被有所不同，但我是错的。 That said, it was a lot easier to draw a crowd, and way easier to raise funds.说，这是一个容易得多，画的人群，和方式更容易筹集资金。 However, I kept feeling like a sell out, and that’s worse than not being able to pay our bills–or so I keep telling myself.不过，我一直感觉就像一个出卖，而且更糟糕的，比不能够支付我们的法案-或因此，我不断告诉自己。
We’re planting a church now, and I’m involved speaking and writing on subjects that are also seen as more fringe, at least to the wider church.我们正在种植一所教堂，现在，我所涉及的口语和写作上的议题，也被视为较为边缘，至少在更广泛的教会。 The result is we simply cannot pay our bills.结果是，我们根本无法支付我们的条例草案。 We’re trying to work things out, I know God is somewhere in the midst of all of this, but to be honest I’m not really sure where on the financial end of things.我们正在努力工作的事情，我知道上帝是在某处中所有这一切，但坦白说我不是真的肯定对财政年底的事。
Recently we were supported very generously with one-time gifts from the blogging community, which was extremely encouraging–yeah, God was in that.最近，我们的支持非常慷慨地与一个时间的礼物从Blog社区，这是非常令人鼓舞的-是啊，上帝在这方面。 But a long term solution is yet to be seen.但长远的解决办法是，仍有待观察。
Here’s to hoping for a long-term solution for both of us.这里的希望，以一个长远的解决办法，供两地发展。
glad to hear you’re being proactive.很高兴听到您主动。
I get upset that you were denied the ability to teach your course again at Bethel Seminary this quarter!!!我不高兴，你被拒绝的能力，教导你的课程，再次在伯特利神学院，这季的！
dlw
Mark I was kind of thinking what anna said.马克我是种什么思想安娜说。 What if this broke poor thing isn't something that will ever go away.如果这打破了穷人的事，也不是将以往任何时候都自动消失。 What if it's a way of life.如果它的一种生活方式。 The life that a lot of the people you want to minister to have.生活有很多的人想要部长。 A way of life that for them isn't going to go away anytime soon.一种生活方式，认为他们是不会消失，随时很快。 I know it doesn't sound pleasant, but could it be that this might be helpful in ministering to these people.我知道这并不健全的愉快，但可能是这可能是有帮助的服事，以这些人。 To be truly incarnational.要真正incarnational 。 Foxes have holes and birds have nests but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.狐狸有洞，并有鸟类筑巢，但儿子的男子已没有地方可奠定他的头部。 That's because he was poor.这是因为他是穷人。 Alan Hirsch uses the word "interpathy" in the shaping of things to come.艾伦赫希使用Word “ interpathy ”在形成的东西来。 Interpathy goes beyond sympathy and empathy. interpathy超越了同情和同理心。 "It describes the depth of relationship when an outsider (you) to a particular host community develops a burden in his heart for that community. It refers to the capacity for an outsider to pick up a community's sense of values, what has hurt them and where they're headed as a people group. It's a form of identification so deep that the guest/missionary has almost become one of the host tribe." “它叙述了深入的关系，当局外人（你）到某个特定的主机社会发展的负担，在他心中，为社区，它是指以能力为外人挑选了一个社会的价值观念，有什么伤害了他们和他们正在为团长的作为一个民族集团，它的某种形式的鉴定如此之深表示，客户/传教士几乎已成为一个东道国的部落“ 。 If you know what it is to be poor, to poor for a long time, with no probable end in sight, you may be feeling the same things that your community feels.如果您知道它是什么是穷人，穷人相当长的时间，没有可能结束的迹象，您可能会感觉同样的东西，你的社区的感觉。 Just my thoughts, I don't know you very well, so I could be totally wrong, but I thought I'd share.只是我的想法，我不知道你很清楚，所以我可以完全错误的，但我以为我想要的份额。
Hmm…I wish people had read my earlier thoughts about giving people room to lament. HMM的… …我希望人们看了我刚才的思考空间，给人的悲叹。 I hate to sound like a jerk…but when someone is on the brink of having their house go into foreclosure, you don’t say: “it is good for you…it will help you be authentic.”我恨听起来像一个挺举… …但是，当有人是对的边缘，有他们的房子进入赎，你不说： “这是一件好事，你… …它会帮助您真实的” 。
I understand the heart behind your thoughts. And I don’t disagree. But I’m not an urban hipster. At least not a real one. I’ve lived in the lower economic status for most of my life.据我所知，心脏病背后的您的想法和我并不反对，但我不是一个城市列表Hipster 。至少不是一个真正的一，我已经住在较低的经济地位，为我的大部分生活。 For most of my marriage, we’ve done ok financially, but never great.对于大多数我的婚姻，我们所做确定在财政上，但从来没有伟大的。 Going for 9 months with an income between $1000/month to maybe $1500 a month is well below poverty.持续9个月与1收入介乎$ 1000/month ，以$ 1500 ，也许一个月，远低于贫困。 We live simply…we share our house with lots of people.我们生活的简单… …我们分享我们的房子有很多人。 We live generously.我们生活的慷慨。 I have no problem identifying with the people we serve.我有没有问题，找出与我们所服务的人民。 But I do have a problem with the idea of losing my freaking house…not because it is a luxury that I oh-so love, but because we are currently taking care of 5 other people who will be out of luck if we lost our home.但我确实有问题的思想，失去再用内务…并不是因为它是一种奢侈，我的OH - ，所以爱，而是因为我们正在照顾5其他人谁将会失去运气，如果我们失去了我们的家。 I’m also lamenting the potential loss of our home because my wife and I desperately want to adopt siblings out of the county system…and need to qualify as foster parents in order to do so. If we lost our home, it would probably put all of that on hold for a year or more (because they have certain housing and credit requirements).我还慨叹的潜在损失，我们的家，因为我的妻子和我拼命要采取的兄弟姐妹走出这个县制… …和需要的资格，寄养父母为了做到这一点，如果我们失去了我们的家，它可能会提出所有这些都搁置了一年或更长时间（因为他们有一定的房屋和信贷的要求） 。
God may be doing some stripping away, tis true. We’ve cut back as much as possible. It may even be God’s plan for us to lose our home. But I doubt it. I think what God is doing is increasing my faith. I think what God is doing is helping me learn to balance my life better and refine things to what is most important.上帝可能会做一些剥离，运输资讯系统的事实。我们已经削减尽可能多地。它甚至有可能上帝的计划为我们失去了我们的家。但我怀疑它，我觉得上帝是什么做的是提高我信仰，我认为上帝是什么做的是帮助我学习，以平衡我的生活更好的和完善的东西，什么是最重要的。
What I’m looking for with this post is some sympathy and prayer.什么我要寻找与这个职位的是一些同情和祈祷。 Not platitudes or answers or solutions.不是老生常谈或答案或解决办法。
Sorry for the tone of my last post.很抱歉的语气我最后的职位。 I completely get what you’re saying and tend to agree.我完全得到什么，你是怎么说的和倾向于同意。 But there is more to the story than you know.但还有更多的故事比你知道。 The whole matter is a question of sustainability.整件事是一个可持续性问题。 My wife and I personally live sacrificially, but tend to cover a lot of ministry out of pocket.我的妻子和我个人的生活sacrificially ，但往往掩盖了很多部走出口袋。 Please pray for us if you feel so inclined.请为我们祈祷，如果您觉得，所以倾向。
HF,高频，
We come before you this evening with broken hearts, distressed psyches and empty pockets.我们来之前，你今天晚上与破碎的心，痛心，心理和空洞的口袋。 We lift up Mark and Amy to you who dress the lilies of the field and provide for the birds of the air.我们取消了马克和艾米给你谁着装的金针的领域，并提供为鸟类的空气。 Grant them continued wisdom and fortitude as they face concerns both intimately personal yet more common than most of us would like to admit.给予他们持续的智慧和毅力，因为他们面对的关注，双方密切的个人，但更常见的，比我们大多数人想承认。 We pray that you would lead them and thereby provide for them a means to remain in their home.我们祈祷你会带领他们，从而为他们提供一种手段，继续留在他们的家园。 Grant us the courage and wisdom to be whatever help we may be as the hands and the feet of Jesus in the world.给予我们勇气和智慧要什么帮助，我们可能作为手和脚耶稣在世界上。 Save us from easy answers and empty words that we may share in Mark’s lament and mourn with him who mourns even as we rejoice in that which he and Amy rejoice.拯救我们从简单的答案和一句空话，我们可以分享在马克的慨叹和哀悼与他谁哀悼，甚至在我们庆幸在这方面，他和艾米庆幸。 As we await your victory may we know我们等待你的胜利，可能大家都知道
the peace that surpasses all understanding和平超越所有的理解
the joy of the martyrs喜悦的烈士
and the courage of all who whisper “not my will but thine…”和勇气，所有谁耳语“不是我的意愿，而且你的… … ”
it is in the name of Jesus, firstborn from the dead we pray,这是在奉主耶稣基督的名， firstborn从死里复活，我们祈祷，
Amen阿民
Hey Mark, I don’t know if you want to post this publicly, and if not you can email me.嘿马克，我不知道如果你想要发布此公开，如果不是，您可以发送电子邮件给我。 But how much would you need the financial flow to increase by?但多少你需要的资金流动增加？
Richard,理查德，
I don’t mind posting that (since I’ve let it all hang out already anyways).我不介意张贴（因为我已经让所有坑出来已经anyways ） 。 For us to start “getting by” we’d need about $700 more a month.让我们开始“阻头阻势”我们需要约700元以上一个月。 We’d need more than that to start climbing back out of the hole.我们需要多于开始攀登回走出洞。