A Call for Conversational Analysis呼吁会话分析
Written by Mark Van Steenwyk : April 23, 2005写的马克范steenwyk ： 2005年4月23日
We all know people who are intensely dissatisfied with the Church. They feel as though the church is inherently broken and long for something better. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way, to a point. It gets problematic, however, when the person in search for the authentic church seems to wear their dissatisfaction as a badge. I’ve seen many people go through a conversation similar to the fictional account below:大家都知道的人谁是激烈的不满与教会，他们觉得好像教会是打破了固有的和长期的东西更好的是有没有什么不妥的感觉，这样，到一个点，它得到的问题，但是，当人在寻找真实的教会似乎磨损他们的不满，作为一个标志。我见过很多人经过一个会话类似虚构的帐户如下：
Gary the Eschewer of Church: Yeah, I mean, the church is called to be like Jesus for the world…and all I see is churches being whores to the world. That just sucks.程介南该eschewer教会：是啊，我的意思是，教会是所谓的要象耶稣为世界… …和所有我看到的是教会被whores向世界，这只是sucks为。
Church Attending Leon: Yeah, you’re right on man. [notice the fundamental agreement]教会出席里昂：是啊，您的权利，对男子。 [公告的基本协定]
Gary the Eschewer of Church: I mean…all I want is a church of people who love each other, who spend time building community with each other, who reach out to people where they’re at without all the programming, a church where everyone has a real role, [insert other particular desires for the church here].程介南该eschewer教会：我的意思是…所有我想是一所教堂的人谁爱对方，谁花时间建立社区与对方，谁接触到的人，他们是在未经所有节目，一所教堂，每个人都有一个真实的角色， [插入其他的欲望，尤其是对于教会在这里] 。
Church Attending Leon: Yeah, that’s what I’m looking for too. Honestly, I think my church is a lot like you’re describing. You should check it out. [Now it is possible that Leon doesn’t really understand what Gary is looking for, but it is also quite possible that Leon DOES indeed understand what Gary wants, and belongs to a community in which Gary might genuinely find satisfying.]教会出席里昂：是啊，这就是我要寻找太。老实说，我认为我的教会是有很多像您描述。您应该检查出来。 [现在是有可能的里昂并不真正了解什么程介南是寻找，但它也是非常有可能的里昂确实明白什么程介南希望，属于一个在社会中，程介南可能真正找到满意的。 ]
Gary the Eschewer of Church: Yeah man. Yeah.程介南该eschewer教会：嗯男子。嗯。 [ Diverts eye contact, because he really isn’t interested in checking out Leon’s church…even though he doesn’t know anything about it.] [ 转移目光接触，因为他实在是不感兴趣，在检查里昂的教堂…即使他不知道什么。 ]
I’ve seen this sort of conversation play out. I’ve hear rants from people who hate the church and long for something authentic…but I have never heard someone looking for anything completely novel…and usually someone who is a part of something incredibly similar to what that person is looking for will approach that person. Sometimes, the person is happy to find a church like what they want, but many times, the person seems to be unwilling to recognize the possibilty that a church which even remotely resembles their "dream church" exists. Why is that? I have my own theories, but I want to hear yours first.我见过这样的谈话发挥出来，我已经听到rants从人恨谁教会和长期的一些真实的… …但我从来没有听到有人在寻找什么，完全新型的… …和通常有人谁是部分的东西，令人难以置信类似什么样的人正在寻找会的做法，人有时候，人是很乐意找到一所教堂一样，他们想要的，但很多时候，人似乎不愿意承认的可能性，一所教堂，甚至远程类似于其“梦想教会”存在。这是为什么呢？我有我自己的理论，但我不想听到你的第一次。
for further reading .为进一步读。 . 。 . 。
- None Found无发现
In psychology class they will teach you that a woman who stays in an abusive relationship will remain because in her mind the benifits out way the consequences of changing.在心理学阶层，他们会教你指一名女子谁停留在一个受虐待的关系将继续，因为在她心目中的好处列方式的后果发生变化。
When people hang onto ideas or concepts that are detrimental to them its usually because it serves some purpose in their life.当人们坑上的想法或概念，不利于他们通常是因为其服务的一些目的，在他们的生活。
My friend has a crissis of faith every other month, and changes chruches about every 6 months.我的朋友有一个crissis信仰的每两个月， chruches的变化，大约每6个月。 Personally I think its for the attention it gets her.我个人认为其为注意得到她。 Christians will flock to those in crissis.基督徒会涌向这些在crissis 。
Attack the badge.攻击徽章。 Don’t be impressed.不留下深刻的印象。 Perhaps ask “What are you getting out of being disatisfied with every church?也许是问“什么是你失控的不满意，每教会？ Or not accepting an invitation.”或根本不接受邀请“ 。
PS保安局常任秘书长
Just read bad day.刚才所宣读的糟糕的一天。 Hope Amy is still healing well.希望艾米仍然是愈合良好。 How is she?她是如何呢？
She’s doing well, thanks for asking!她的好，感谢要求！
I don’t think it’s possible for a one-size-fits-all response to this conversation but I would have to venture to guess that Gary was at one point in a dysfunctional church or had a dysfunctional Christian witnessing to them and was hurt by someone.我不认为这有可能为一个尺寸适合所有人为响应这一谈话，但我要冒昧地猜测，程介南是在1点在一个功能失调的教会或已失调基督教目睹了他们是伤害某人。
Logicians would say that Gary is projecting qualities of the particular (church) onto the universal (church). logicians会说，程介南是预测的素质特别（教会）上普遍（堂） 。
He seems to be rejecting Christians, not the Church in this scenereo.他似乎是否定的基督徒，而不是教会在这scenereo 。
What do you think, Mark?您怎么看，马克？
Well, I’m in a hurry right now, so I’ll briefly share a couple thoughts:那么，我在匆忙的权利，现在，所以我将简略地分享一对夫妇的思考：
1) I think people are very skeptical and cynical towards the promises churches offer. 1 ）我认为，人们都非常怀疑和玩世不恭的承诺，对教会提供。 They won’t trust people when they say “my church is like that” because we are all too used to churches spining themselves positively to attract people.他们将不信任的人时，他们说： “我的教会是这样的： ”因为我们都太用来教会旋自己积极吸引人们。
2) While postmodernism values community more than modernism, I think individualism in American spirituality is stronger today that it was 10 years ago. 2 ）的同时，后现代社会的价值观多于现代主义，我认为个人主义在美国的灵性，是强大的今天，这是10年前。 We are a culture which breeds narcissists, people believe that they should have a church that is tailored to them.我们是一个文化品种narcissists ，人们相信他们应该有一个教会，就是针对他们。 They want to discover the perfect church on their own, and are often unwilling to really listen to the suggestions of others.他们希望发现完美的教会对自己，并常常不愿要真正听取他们的建议等。 Just a couple thoughts.只是一对夫妇的想法。